By Sue Baker Smithe
When people ask me what I do for a living, I often pause before answering. The term “domestic professional” doesn’t quite capture the complexity of my role, nor the journey that brought me here. What began as a role caring for two small children has evolved into managing multiple estates, coordinating staff, and serving as a trusted right hand to one of the country’s most prominent families. This is my story.
Humble Beginnings: The Nanny Years
Twenty years ago, I was a fresh university graduate with a degree in child development and a passion for working with children. I had always been the neighborhood babysitter, the camp counselor, the one who naturally gravitated toward the kids’ table at family gatherings. When I spotted an advertisement for a full-time nanny position with the Richardson family, it felt like the perfect first step in my career.
The Richardson children, Emma, age 3, and James, just 11 months, became my world. We spent our days building block towers, reading stories until my voice grew hoarse, and taking adventures to local parks and museums. I still remember Emma’s serious little face as she informed me that dinosaurs were “extinct because of a big rock from space,” and James’s delighted giggles when I made puppet shadows on the wall.
Those early years taught me something crucial that would serve me throughout my career: genuine care cannot be faked. Children have an uncanny ability to sense authenticity, and the trust I built with Emma and James became the foundation of my relationship with their parents.
The Evolution of Trust: Moving Beyond Childcare
By the time James started kindergarten, my role had begun to shift. Mrs. Richardson, noticing my organizational skills and attention to detail, began asking me to handle additional responsibilities. First came management of the family calendar, then coordinating with the housekeeper and gardener, and eventually overseeing household vendors.
“Sue, you seem to have a knack for this,” she told me one afternoon after I had successfully orchestrated a last-minute dinner party when their regular event planner fell ill. “Would you be interested in taking on more household management responsibilities?”
This transition wasn’t without challenges. I had to establish new boundaries and authority with staff who had previously seen me only as “the nanny.” I had to learn about proper home maintenance, vendor negotiations, and inventory management. I made mistakes…like the time I scheduled the plumber to replace bathroom fixtures on the same day as Mr. Richardson’s important video conference, resulting in hammering sounds echoing through the house during his call.
But with each challenge came growth. I took courses in household management, studied budgeting and accounting, and developed systems that made the Richardson household run like clockwork.
The Jump to Estate Management: Not for the Faint of Heart
When the Richardsons purchased their second home, a lake house three hours away, they approached me with a proposition: would I consider becoming their estate manager, overseeing both properties and the staff at each?
Let me be clear: this is where the job becomes not for the faint of heart. Estate management requires a unique combination of skills that few possess naturally. You must be exceptionally organized yet flexible, diplomatic yet firm, visible when needed and invisible when appropriate. You must anticipate needs before they arise and solve problems before they become crises.
Breaking into this field isn’t easy. The learning curve is steep, the hours are long, and the expectations are exceptionally high. When the basement of the lake house flooded at 2 AM during a holiday weekend, it was my responsibility to coordinate emergency services remotely, calm the houseguests, and ensure the Richardson children still had their promised lake activities the next day, all while maintaining an air of calm control.
I remember standing in the kitchen at 5 AM after that flood, having been on the phone most of the night, wondering if I was in over my head. But then Mrs. Richardson handed me a cup of coffee and said, “I don’t know what we would have done without you.” In that moment, I understood that this career isn’t just about managing properties, it’s about providing peace of mind.
The Ultimate Evolution: Chief of Staff
As the Richardson business empire grew, so did my responsibilities. What began as managing two homes expanded to coordinating five properties, including an international residence. I found myself not just managing household staff but interfacing with the Richardsons’ business associates, handling sensitive communications, and serving as a gatekeeper to their increasingly valuable time.
Ten years into my career with the family, Mr. Richardson called me into his office. “Sue, we’d like to create a new position for you. ‘Estate manager‘ doesn’t cover half of what you do for us anymore. We’d like you to become our Chief of Staff.”
This role—a blend of personal assistant, communications director, project manager, and trusted advisor—represents the pinnacle of domestic service. I now manage a staff of 23 across multiple properties, oversee the family’s personal investments, coordinate their philanthropic endeavors, and serve as the primary point of contact for everyone from the children’s school principals to business partners and political connections.
Lessons Learned Along the Way
Looking back on my 20-year journey, I’ve gathered some wisdom that might benefit those considering this career path:
- Build on authentic relationships: The foundation of my success has been the genuine connections I’ve formed with the Richardson family. They trust me with their children, their homes, and now their business interests because they know I truly care.
- Never stop learning: I’ve taken courses in everything from wine appreciation to cybersecurity to ensure I can manage every aspect of the family’s complex life. Continuous education is essential in this field.
- Develop impeccable discretion: As you move up in domestic service, you become privy to increasingly sensitive information. The ability to maintain absolute confidentiality is non-negotiable.
- Master the art of anticipation: The best domestic professionals don’t just respond to needs, they anticipate them. This intuitive ability separates the good from the exceptional.
- Maintain your boundaries: Despite the intimate nature of the work, maintaining professional boundaries is crucial for longevity in this career. I am deeply invested in the Richardson family’s wellbeing, but I have my own identity outside of my role.
Final Thoughts
The path from nanny to Chief of Staff has been demanding, occasionally overwhelming, but ultimately profoundly rewarding. I’ve watched Emma and James grow from toddlers into accomplished young adults. I’ve been present for the family’s highest celebrations and supported them through their deepest challenges. I’ve created systems and structures that allow them to focus on what matters most to them, each other.
For those considering a career in professional domestic service, know that this path isn’t easy and certainly isn’t for everyone. It requires sacrifice, adaptability, and an unusual blend of skills. But for those suited to it, few careers offer the same level of personal satisfaction and impact.
Twenty years in, I still wake up each morning with a sense of purpose and pride in what I do. And really, isn’t that what we’re all looking for in a career?
Sue Baker Smithe is a certified Estate Manager and Chief of Staff with 20 years of experience in professional domestic service. While this blog shares her personal journey, names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of her employers.
