Your new nanny starts tomorrow. You’ve spent weeks searching, interviewing, and checking references. You’re relieved to have finally hired someone. But you’re also staring at Monday morning with no clear plan for how to onboard her, what information she needs, or how to structure these first weeks so she actually succeeds in your household. You know this month matters, but you’re not sure what distinguishes families who end up with excellent long-term nannies from those whose new hires flounder and eventually fail.
After twenty years placing nannies with families from San Diego to major cities nationwide, we’ve learned that successful first months follow predictable patterns. Families who structure onboarding intentionally create foundations for excellent long-term employment. Families who approach first months haphazardly, assuming nannies will learn through observation, end up with avoidable conflicts and nannies who never fully understand what families need. The difference between these outcomes isn’t luck or finding better candidates. It’s whether families invest time during Month One teaching their specific standards and building the knowledge nannies need to excel.
Week One: Building the Foundation
The first week isn’t about expecting productivity or independence. It’s about teaching fundamentals and establishing patterns that will support everything that follows. You’re investing time now to save months or years of suboptimal performance later.
Start with the basics of your physical space. Your new nanny needs to know where everything lives including all children’s items from clothes to diapers to toys, where cleaning supplies are stored, how your kitchen is organized, and where first aid supplies and emergency items are kept. This seems obvious, but nannies spending their first weeks constantly asking where things are or searching through cabinets waste enormous time and never develop the efficiency that comes from knowing your space intimately.
Home technology matters more than many families realize. Show how your security system works, how to operate thermostats and smart home features, how entertainment systems function, and provide wifi passwords while explaining any internet use policies. Nannies who don’t understand your technology either avoid using things they should be using or accidentally trigger alarms and create problems through well-intentioned attempts to help.
Emergency information and protocols need to be established day one, not when actual emergencies occur. Provide written emergency contacts for parents, backup contacts, pediatricians, and neighbors. Show where medical consent forms and insurance information are kept. Discuss when to call 911 versus when to call you first for medical situations. Explain protocols for fire, severe weather, or other household emergencies including where fire extinguishers and emergency exits are located. These conversations feel morbid when nothing is wrong, but they’re essential preparation that could save critical time if situations arise.
The children introduction process during week one determines how relationships develop. Spend significant time during the first few days present while your nanny interacts with children. You’re demonstrating your typical interactions, communication style, and approaches so she can observe what you want replicated. Discuss each child’s personality, preferences, sensitivities, and unique characteristics. Explain any behavioral or developmental considerations she needs to understand. Allow relationship building to happen gradually without forcing immediate connection or expecting children to instantly trust someone new.
Walking through your daily schedule requires actually experiencing it together, not just describing it. Take your nanny through entire daily routines from morning wake-up through bedtime if she works those hours, demonstrating actual timing for meals, naps, activities, and transitions. Explain where there’s flexibility within routines and where consistency matters most. Practice the schedule together several times during week one so she experiences real timing and flow rather than theoretical descriptions that don’t match reality.
Communication patterns established during week one become the foundation for your entire working relationship. Discuss how you want daily updates provided and what information matters most to you. Clarify what requires immediate text or call versus end-of-day recap. Set expectations about your availability during work hours for non-urgent questions and what response times both parties should expect for messages. Practice using the communication system so it becomes natural before you’re relying on it for important information.
For feeding and meals, show where food and snacks are kept and what children typically eat. If your nanny will handle meal and snack preparation, demonstrate how you do it. Explain any dietary restrictions, allergies, or food preferences children have. Discuss your philosophy about mealtimes including whether children must finish meals, how much choice they get about food, and where meals happen. These details shape how your nanny approaches feeding, and misalignment here creates daily friction.
By the end of week one, your nanny should know where everything is located, understand basic daily routines, feel comfortable with emergency protocols, and have developed initial rapport with children. If she’s still confused about logistics or children are resisting her presence, something in your week one onboarding needs adjustment before moving forward.
Week Two: Building Independence with Support
Week two transitions from intensive teaching to watching your nanny handle more independently while you remain available for questions and guidance. You’re not shadowing constantly anymore, but you’re checking in regularly and staying accessible when she needs support.
Activity planning and child engagement require your input about what quality looks like in your household. Discuss what types of activities you want children doing and what constitutes meaningful engagement versus just supervision. Show favorite books, games, craft supplies, and activity resources you’ve accumulated. Explain screen time policies including how much, when, and what content is acceptable. Discuss outdoor play expectations and where your nanny can take children. If you have regular parks, playgrounds, or activity venues you use, provide that information so she’s not inventing everything from scratch.
During week two, observe how your nanny plans activities and engages with children, then provide specific feedback. If she’s doing well, tell her exactly what you’ve noticed that impresses you. If engagement feels passive or activities seem low-quality, explain what you’d prefer to see and demonstrate approaches that match your expectations.
Behavioral management discussions during week two prevent the discipline conflicts that plague many nanny relationships. Discuss your discipline philosophy and specific approaches you use. Demonstrate how you handle common behavioral situations so she sees your methods in action. Explain what behaviors require intervention versus what you let go. Clarify what disciplinary actions are acceptable and what’s off-limits. If you have multiple children, address how to handle sibling conflicts. Discuss what behavioral situations require immediate parent notification versus what she should handle independently.
These conversations feel lengthy when you’re trying to get your nanny working independently, but they prevent months of misalignment where she’s using approaches that don’t match your parenting philosophy and you’re increasingly frustrated without understanding why.
Household task clarification during week two prevents scope creep and resentment later. Specify exactly what household tasks are part of her responsibilities. If she’ll handle children’s laundry, show how you want it done. Explain your standards for tidying children’s spaces and play areas. If there’s meal prep or cooking involved, demonstrate what that looks like. Equally important, clarify what’s explicitly not part of her role so she doesn’t assume she should be doing things you haven’t asked for or feel resentful about tasks outside her agreement.
If your nanny will be transporting children, week two is when to address that comprehensively. Complete any necessary paperwork for her to transport children legally. Provide car seats and demonstrate proper installation and use. Discuss your driving expectations and any specific routes or procedures you want followed. If she’ll be taking children to regular activities, show where those locations are and practice the drives together. Explain parking situations, drop-off procedures, and timing considerations. Establish how mileage tracking and reimbursement work so there’s no confusion about vehicle expense compensation.
Schedule flexibility conversations during week two establish boundaries that protect both parties. Clarify how much notice you need for schedule changes from both sides. Discuss typical variations to the standard schedule she should expect. Explain how last-minute changes get communicated and compensated. Address what happens during school breaks, holidays, or family vacations. Set boundaries about work hours and what constitutes overtime requiring additional compensation.
By the end of week two, have an initial feedback conversation about what’s going well from both perspectives. Address any concerns or confusion before they become bigger issues. Clarify anything about the role that still seems unclear. Ask what additional information or support your nanny needs. Provide specific positive feedback about what you’ve observed her doing well. Make any necessary adjustments to approaches based on the first two weeks.
Your nanny should be handling most daily responsibilities with decreasing direct oversight by the end of week two, children should be comfortable with her, and any initial confusion about expectations should be clarified. If dependencies on you remain strong or children are still resisting her, figure out what’s preventing the natural progression toward independence.
Week Three: Deepening Integration
By week three, your nanny should be managing daily responsibilities largely independently. This week focuses on expanding her understanding to include less frequent tasks, ensuring she grasps your standards across all aspects of her role, and building her confidence in making appropriate decisions.
If your children attend school or activities, week three is when to thoroughly cover that coordination. Provide all necessary information about schools including addresses, contact information, and pickup procedures. Share login credentials for school communication portals or apps. Clarify which school communications your nanny should monitor and handle versus which should be forwarded to you. Discuss how to deal with permission slips, volunteer requests, and school-related logistics. If appropriate for your situation, introduce your nanny to teachers. Establish clear procedures for activity transportation and coordination so she knows exactly how to handle those logistics.
Healthcare and medical management need explicit discussion during week three even if nothing health-related has arisen yet. Show where medications are kept and review proper administration procedures. Discuss how to handle minor illnesses including when to keep children home from school versus sending them. Clarify medication authorization and what requires explicit permission before administering anything. Provide information about regular medications, supplements, or special health needs any children have. Discuss what minor injuries she can handle versus what requires your immediate notification. Review any documentation requirements for medications, injuries, or health concerns.
These medical conversations establish her authority and boundaries before situations arise requiring quick decisions. Without this discussion, nannies either make choices you disagree with or they contact you constantly for minor issues they should handle independently.
Deeper routine understanding during week three covers the less frequent responsibilities that didn’t come up during the first two weeks. Discuss weekly tasks or occasional needs beyond immediate daily patterns. Explain any special routines for certain days or situations. Address seasonal considerations that might affect routines. Clarify any household management responsibilities beyond daily tasks. Discuss how routines adjust as children grow or circumstances change. Ensure your nanny understands priorities when multiple responsibilities compete for her attention.
Social interaction policies need clarification if your children have social lives involving playdates or interactions with other families. Discuss your preferences about playdates including whether your nanny can arrange them, where they should happen, and any restrictions you have. Clarify policies about going to other people’s homes versus hosting at your home. Address any concerns about child supervision during social situations. Explain your expectations about your nanny’s interactions with other parents or caregivers. Discuss whether she should exchange contact information with parents of your children’s friends. Set boundaries about social media connections with parents or families you know.
Professional development conversations during week three show you value your nanny’s growth beyond just performing current responsibilities. Ask about training or certifications she’s interested in pursuing. Discuss whether you provide professional development support or allowances. Establish expectations about maintaining current certifications like CPR. Address whether you want her attending workshops, conferences, or training opportunities. Clarify whether work time can be used for professional development activities.
Problem-solving and decision-making discussions during week three build your nanny’s confidence in her authority. Discuss what types of decisions she can make independently versus when she should check with you before proceeding. Address how to handle unexpected situations or challenges that don’t fit established patterns. Establish your preferences about her using judgment versus seeking approval for various scenarios. Review any situations that have already arisen and discuss how similar things should be handled going forward.
By the end of week three, your nanny should be functioning largely independently, understanding your priorities and standards across all aspects of her role, making appropriate decisions without constant checking in, and feeling genuinely integrated into your household operations rather than still learning basics.
Week Four: Establishing Long-Term Patterns
Week four completes the transition from intensive onboarding to normal operations. Your nanny should be managing full responsibilities independently, and you’re evaluating whether the first month has created the foundation for long-term success.
Step back from active oversight during week four and allow your nanny to manage full days without your involvement. Observe from a distance to ensure she’s maintaining quality without constant direction. Address any remaining dependencies on you for decisions she should be making independently by this point. Evaluate whether she’s balancing all aspects of her role appropriately or whether she’s focusing too heavily on some areas while neglecting others.
If you notice concerning patterns developing, provide feedback now before they become entrenched habits. If she’s excelling in areas you particularly value, affirm those specifically so she knows to continue those approaches. Week four is when you’re assessing whether the intensive teaching investment of the previous three weeks has produced a nanny who can actually function at the level you need long-term.
Review your written work agreement together during week four to ensure reality matches what was discussed during hiring. Discuss whether responsibilities match what was described. Address any scope expansion that’s occurred and whether it should continue, be compensated differently, or be eliminated. Clarify any terms that have proven confusing or need modification based on actual experience. Document any agreed-upon changes to original terms in writing so both parties have updated records of your arrangement.
Establish your ongoing communication structure now that intensive onboarding is complete. Set expectations for how ongoing feedback and performance discussions will work. Create systems for discussing schedule changes, time off requests, or household updates as they arise. Agree on how to raise concerns or issues when they emerge. Schedule regular check-ins to prevent small issues from accumulating into bigger problems. Plan when you’ll have your first formal review conversation at the end of any probationary period.
Discuss any behavioral patterns or developmental observations your nanny has noticed about your children during the first month. Share any milestones or concerns either party has observed. Align approaches if children’s behavior has changed since she started. Address whether discipline approaches are working effectively or need adjustment. Discuss how children have adjusted to having a nanny and whether relationships are developing as they should. Plan any shifts needed as children continue adapting to the new arrangement.
Ensure all financial and logistical matters are functioning correctly by the end of week four. Verify that payroll is working as agreed and your nanny is being paid correctly and on time. Confirm that benefits, guaranteed hours, and other compensation elements are being provided as specified. Complete any remaining tax or employment paperwork. Establish systems for tracking hours, expenses, or other financial logistics that need regular attention. Address any mileage reimbursement, supply purchases, or expense submission procedures that haven’t been fully implemented yet.
Schedule dedicated time during the final days of week four for a comprehensive discussion about the first month. Provide specific feedback about what your nanny has done well, being detailed about what impresses you so she knows to continue those approaches. Address any concerns about performance or methods that need improvement, being equally specific about what you want adjusted. Ask for her perspective on what’s worked well and what’s been challenging from her viewpoint. Discuss what you both want to focus on improving in coming months. If the first month has gone well, affirm your commitment to the working relationship so she knows you’re pleased with how things have started.
Reinforce professional boundaries during week four to set the tone for long-term relationship dynamics. Ensure expectations about discretion and family privacy are completely clear. Clarify social media boundaries if there’s any remaining ambiguity. Discuss professional limits about personal sharing with your family. Address any concerns about the balance between being warm and friendly versus crossing into friendship territory. Make sure your nanny understands the distinction and why maintaining professional relationships serves everyone better than blurring those lines.
By the end of week four, your nanny should be fully functioning independently, clear about all expectations and standards, comfortable raising questions or concerns as they arise, and both parties should feel reasonably confident about long-term success. If major concerns exist at this point, address them directly or consider whether this placement will actually work before more time passes.
The Investment That Returns Dividends
Some families resist investing this much time and structure into first month onboarding. They’re busy, they want their nanny working independently immediately, and walking through everything systematically feels burdensome when they’re already overwhelmed.
But the time invested in Month One returns enormous dividends throughout the employment relationship. Nannies who receive thorough, structured onboarding understand your expectations clearly, meet your standards consistently, prevent common problems before they develop, and function at significantly higher levels than nannies who were left to figure things out independently.
The month you invest in teaching, clarifying, and establishing patterns prevents years of suboptimal performance, misunderstandings about what you want, and conflicts that arise from expectations that were never clearly communicated. Families who skip this investment discover months or years later that their nannies still don’t fully understand what they need or how to provide it, and by then retraining becomes exponentially harder than training properly would have been initially.
Your new nanny wants to succeed in your household. She wants to meet your expectations and provide excellent care for your children. But she can only do that if you invest time during the first month teaching your specific standards, clarifying what matters most to you, and building the detailed knowledge she needs about your unique household and children. No amount of general experience from previous families gives her the specific information about how you want things done and what you particularly value.
The Seaside Staffing Perspective
At Seaside Staffing Company, we’ve placed thousands of nannies with families throughout San Diego and nationwide markets over twenty years. The placements that succeed long-term invariably involve families who structure first month onboarding comprehensively, treating it as critical investment rather than optional nicety.
We tailor-fit every placement, which includes providing onboarding guidance during the matching process so families understand how to set their new nannies up for success from day one. Never automated, never one-size-fits-all. Clear, thorough onboarding creates foundations that support excellent employment relationships for years rather than the struggles that develop when nannies never receive the teaching and clarity they need to truly excel.
The first month determines whether nannies thrive in positions or struggle despite having excellent capabilities and intentions. Families who approach this month strategically with clear plans for what needs to be taught and established create the conditions for uncommonly good matches that last for years. Families who hope things will just work out discover that hope isn’t a strategy and that the conflicts they’re managing months or years later often trace directly back to foundations that were never properly built during those critical first weeks.
