A household with several staff members is a small organization, and small organizations have the same dynamics that larger ones do: clear roles, communication structure, and interpersonal relationships that either support or undermine the work. The difference is that a household staff team operates in an unusually intimate environment, with less formal structure than most workplaces, where the interpersonal relationships are more visible and where friction that would be containable in a corporate setting has a more direct effect on the household’s daily function.
The household that runs smoothly with a team of five or six staff members has usually invested in the conditions that make team dynamics work. The household that runs in a state of constant low-grade friction despite having capable individual staff members often hasn’t.
What the House Manager Actually Manages
The house manager or estate manager’s role in a multi-staff household isn’t only operational. It’s organizational. She is the person responsible for the team dynamic in a practical, day-to-day sense: making sure roles are clear enough that people aren’t stepping on each other, communication is flowing in ways that allow coordination without requiring constant direct intervention, and conflicts are addressed before they become the household’s primary operational feature.
This requires genuine management skill. The estate manager who can direct contractors and manage vendors but who struggles to maintain a functional team dynamic among household staff is missing a significant part of what the senior management role in a multi-staff household requires. The households that work best are the ones where the person at the top of the staff structure is genuinely good at both dimensions.
What Creates Cohesion
Household staff teams that work well tend to have several things in common. Roles that are clear enough that people know what’s theirs and what isn’t, which prevents the territorial friction that ambiguous boundaries produce. A communication structure that ensures relevant information reaches the people who need it without requiring everyone to talk to everyone about everything. A shared understanding of the household’s standards and priorities, so that individual staff members make consistent decisions even when the house manager isn’t directly involved.
They also tend to have staff members who respect each other’s professional domains. The chef who doesn’t second-guess the housekeeper’s approach to kitchen organization. The housekeeper who doesn’t make decisions about what gets stored where in ways that affect the chef’s workflow without conversation. The personal assistant who handles the principals’ direct requests without creating confusion about what the house manager is responsible for. Professional respect across roles is something that has to be established and maintained.
What Creates Friction
The friction that develops in household staff teams follows recognizable patterns. Unclear boundaries about who has authority over what, which produces conflict when two staff members make different decisions about the same thing. Inconsistent standards, where some staff members are held to a different level of accountability than others, which produces resentment that is corrosive over time. Poor communication, where relevant information doesn’t reach the people who need it and people are regularly surprised by things they should have known.
The most common source of friction in household teams is the principals’ own behavior: going directly to individual staff members without coordinating through the house manager, giving contradictory direction, or being inconsistent about what the standards actually are. A house manager who is excellent at team management can mitigate this, but she can’t fully compensate for it. The team that works best is the team whose principals support the management structure that makes it possible.
At Seaside Staffing Company, when we’re building staffing structures for larger households, we think about team dynamics as part of what we’re designing, not as something that will sort itself out.
