The job description said “nanny.” But six months in, you realize the person you hired is doing way more than childcare.
They’re running errands. Managing your household calendar. Coordinating with vendors. Handling family logistics. Keeping your whole operation running. They’re not just watching your kids – they’re basically managing your family’s life.
Welcome to the murky territory between nannies and family assistants, where lots of Chicago families end up without really meaning to get there.
This happens constantly. You hire someone as a nanny. They’re great with your kids, super capable, really helpful. So you start asking them to handle a few other things. Then a few more things. Before long, their role has expanded way beyond pure childcare but you’re still calling them a nanny and probably still paying them like one.
That creates problems for everyone – unclear expectations, compensation that doesn’t match responsibilities, role confusion, potential resentment. Let’s talk about how to recognize when you’ve outgrown the nanny role and what to actually do about it.
How the role creep happens
It usually starts innocently. Your nanny’s so organized and capable that you ask if they can pick up groceries while they’re out with the kids. They handle it great. So next you ask if they can coordinate the plumber coming to fix something. Then maybe they start managing the kids’ activity schedules and communicating with schools. Then household errands get added.
Each individual request seems small and reasonable. But they compound into a role that’s fundamentally different from childcare.
Some nannies appreciate the variety and like feeling more central to family operations. Others feel like they’re being taken advantage of – they signed up to care for kids, not run your household, but they don’t feel comfortable saying no because they don’t want to seem difficult.
One family in Lincoln Park hired a nanny for their two kids. Over the course of a year, they gradually added household tasks until the nanny was spending probably 40% of her time on non-childcare stuff. She was coordinating vendors, managing household inventory, handling family calendar logistics, running errands constantly.
The nanny felt frustrated because she loved working with the kids but she was spending less and less time actually doing childcare. The family was confused about why she seemed less happy because from their perspective they were just asking for reasonable help.
Neither side was communicating clearly about what was happening or whether the expanded role was actually working for everyone.
The compensation usually doesn’t adjust
Here’s the big problem: when nanny roles expand into family assistant territory, families often don’t adjust compensation to reflect the broader responsibilities.
Nannies in Chicago typically earn $55,000 to $80,000+ annually depending on experience and household specifics. Family assistants handling both childcare and household management typically earn $65,000 to $95,000+ because they’re doing more complex work requiring broader skill sets.
If you’ve expanded your nanny’s role to include substantial household management but you’re still paying nanny rates, you’re probably undercompensating them. That creates resentment even if they don’t say anything directly.
Some families genuinely don’t realize their nanny’s role has expanded enough to warrant higher pay. Others realize it but hope their nanny won’t bring it up. Neither approach works long-term.
The skill sets are actually different
Being great with kids doesn’t automatically mean someone’s great at household management. Those are different skills.
Your nanny might be incredible at engaging children, managing behavior, creating fun activities, and handling childcare responsibilities. But maybe they’re not naturally organized about household systems. Maybe they’re not great at vendor communication. Maybe they struggle with the logistics piece even though they’re wonderful with your kids.
Expanding their role assumes they can handle both skill sets well. Sometimes they can. Sometimes they can’t, and trying to make them do both means both parts suffer.
The families who handle this best usually hire people who have family assistant experience from the start – candidates who have successfully blended childcare with household management in previous roles. Those people exist, but they’re different from pure nanny candidates.
If you’ve organically grown a nanny role into family assistant territory and your nanny’s struggling with the non-childcare parts, that’s not their fault. You expanded the role beyond what they were hired and trained to do.
When it’s actually working
Sometimes role expansion happens naturally and everyone’s happy with it.
Your nanny genuinely enjoys the variety of handling both childcare and household support. They’re good at both. They appreciate feeling more central to family operations. You’re compensating them appropriately for the expanded role. Everyone’s clear about expectations and boundaries.
That’s fantastic when it happens. Some of the best family assistant placements we see started as nanny roles that naturally expanded as trust and capability became clear.
But even when it’s working, you need to formalize it. Change the job title to family assistant. Update the job description to reflect actual responsibilities. Adjust compensation to match. Make it official rather than just letting it stay this informal thing that evolved without clear structure.
Chicago families often have demanding dual-career situations where family assistants genuinely make more sense than pure nannies. Someone who can handle both kids and household operations is incredibly valuable. But that needs to be an intentional role design, not accidental creep.
The conversation you need to have
If you realize your nanny’s role has expanded way beyond childcare, have an actual conversation about it.
Acknowledge that you’ve been asking them to do more than what you originally hired them for. Ask how they feel about the expanded responsibilities – do they enjoy the variety or would they prefer to focus on childcare? Are they comfortable with the current scope or does it feel like too much?
Discuss compensation. If the role’s genuinely expanded into family assistant territory, adjust pay to reflect that. Don’t make them ask for it – recognize it proactively.
Talk about whether the role should officially change to family assistant. Would a new job description with updated expectations help clarify things for everyone? Does the title change matter to them?
Get clear on boundaries. What’s definitely part of their role? What’s not? Where are the gray areas? Document it so there’s no confusion going forward.
Most nannies will be relieved you’re addressing something that’s been bothering them but that they felt uncomfortable raising. Opening the conversation shows you recognize the situation and want to make it work fairly for everyone.
When you need to reset
Sometimes the role creep has gone too far and needs to be walked back.
Maybe your nanny’s good with kids but really not good at household management, and asking them to do both is setting them up to fail. Maybe they’re completely overwhelmed and burned out from handling too much. Maybe the compensation adjustment would be significant enough that it doesn’t make financial sense for your family.
It’s okay to reset. Have a conversation about refocusing the role on childcare. Stop asking for household tasks that aren’t child-related. Maybe hire separate help for household management so your nanny can focus on what they’re actually great at.
Resetting doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that your nanny’s failed. It means you’re recognizing what’s realistic and sustainable for everyone.
One family in Evanston realized they’d expanded their nanny’s role so much that she was stressed constantly and the kids weren’t getting the attention they needed. They reset by bringing in a part-time personal assistant to handle household tasks, letting the nanny go back to focusing primarily on childcare. Everyone was immediately happier.
When you should hire family assistant from the start
If you know from the beginning that you need someone who can handle both childcare and household management, hire for that role explicitly.
Write a family assistant job description that clearly includes both dimensions. Interview for candidates who have experience successfully blending both. Compensate appropriately from day one for the full scope of responsibilities.
Being upfront about role expectations makes everything clearer. Candidates can self-select based on whether they want that kind of role. You’re not trying to expand someone’s responsibilities after the fact.
The candidates who apply for family assistant roles typically have different backgrounds than pure nanny candidates. They might have household management experience plus childcare experience. They might have worked in family office environments. They might have specifically trained for blended roles.
Those candidates command higher compensation but they’re worth it if you genuinely need both skill sets.
The title matters more than you think
Some families resist changing titles from nanny to family assistant even when the role has clearly evolved. They worry it sounds less prestigious or they just don’t think the title matters that much.
But titles do matter, especially to the person doing the work.
“Family assistant” signals that someone’s role is broader than just childcare. It validates that they’re handling complex household responsibilities, not just watching kids. It affects how they see themselves professionally and how they talk about their work with others.
If someone’s actually functioning as a family assistant but you’re still calling them a nanny, that title mismatch creates identity confusion for them professionally. It also makes their resume look less impressive when they eventually move to other positions.
Change the title to match the actual work. It costs you nothing and it means something to them.
Documentation prevents drift
Once you’ve clarified whether the role is nanny or family assistant, document it clearly.
Write an actual job description that lists responsibilities. Be specific about what’s included and what’s not. Update it if things change. Keep it current so everyone can reference what the role actually entails.
Having documentation prevents the slow drift back into murky territory where nobody’s quite sure what’s expected. It also helps if you ever need to hire someone new – you have clarity about what the role actually is.
Chicago families who handle household staffing well usually have proper documentation for all positions. It’s not about being overly formal or corporate. It’s about clear communication that prevents confusion and conflict.
The long-term thinking
Think about where you want things to be in two or three years, not just what’s working okay right now.
If your nanny’s role has expanded beyond childcare and you’re both generally fine with it, is that sustainable long-term? Will it keep working as your kids grow or as your family needs change? Is your nanny building skills and experience that serve their career goals?
If the expanded role isn’t sustainable or isn’t what either of you really wants, address it now rather than waiting until it becomes a crisis.
Being intentional about household staffing roles means thinking beyond just what’s convenient in the moment. It means creating arrangements that actually work for everyone over time.
When families get this right – either by maintaining clear nanny roles or by intentionally creating family assistant roles – everybody benefits. Kids get appropriate attention. Household operations run smoothly. Staff feel valued and fairly compensated. Nobody’s confused or resentful.
When families get it wrong by letting roles drift without addressing it, everybody ends up frustrated even though nobody meant for things to get messy.
Pay attention to what’s actually happening in your household staffing. Be honest about whether roles have expanded beyond original scope. Have the conversations needed to clarify expectations and compensation. Create the arrangements that actually work rather than just hoping murky situations will sort themselves out.
