Most people have interviewed for jobs. Very few have interviewed people to work in their homes.
It’s weird. You’re sitting across from someone asking if they can cook for your family, clean your house, or manage your life. They’re evaluating whether they want to work for you. You’re both being polite and careful and nobody’s saying what they’re really thinking.
After twenty years at Seaside Staffing Company, we’ve seen thousands of these interviews. The good ones, the awkward ones, the disasters. And here’s what we’ve learned: interviewing household staff is completely different from interviewing someone for a corporate job. The skills that make you good at hiring at work don’t necessarily translate.
You’re not just evaluating competence. You’re evaluating whether you want this person in your home, around your family, handling your private life. That requires different questions, different instincts, and a different approach.
Most first-time families hiring household staff in Austin make the same mistakes. They ask generic questions, avoid talking about money, miss obvious red flags, and hire based on charm instead of capability. Then they’re surprised when it doesn’t work out.
Here’s how to actually do this.
Why Interviewing Household Staff Is Different
In a corporate interview, you’re evaluating skills and experience. Can this person do the job? Have they done it before? Do they have the right background?
With household staff, skills matter, but fit matters more. You might interview an estate manager with perfect credentials who would be terrible in your home. Or a housekeeper with less experience who would be exactly right.
Why? Because household employment is intimate. This person will see how you live, how you parent, how you fight with your spouse, what your house looks like when it’s a mess. They’ll know what’s in your refrigerator, what medications you take, who visits, what you do on weekends.
Corporate jobs have clear boundaries. Household jobs don’t, not really. So you’re evaluating something more nuanced than qualifications. You’re evaluating whether you trust this person, whether they respect boundaries, whether their working style matches your living style.
We placed a house manager with a family in Austin’s Tarrytown neighborhood last year. The candidate wasn’t the most experienced we presented. But in the interview, she asked thoughtful questions about how the family liked to communicate, what their priorities were, how they handled stress. The family felt seen. They hired her. Two years later, she’s still there and the family can’t imagine life without her.
Meanwhile, the most qualified candidate we presented to that same family felt off in the interview. Too formal, too corporate, couldn’t relax. The family felt like they’d be performing for her instead of being themselves. Skills weren’t the issue. Fit was.
The Questions Everyone Asks That Don’t Tell You Much
Most families start with the same standard questions. Walk me through your resume. Why did you leave your last position? Where do you see yourself in five years?
These questions are fine, but they don’t tell you what you actually need to know. People can rehearse answers to these. You’ll get polished responses that sound good and reveal nothing.
Here’s what those questions don’t tell you: how someone handles conflict, what they do when things go wrong, how they prioritize when multiple things need attention, what their actual working style is day to day.
If you ask a house manager candidate “why did you leave your last job,” they’ll give you a diplomatic answer. They’ll say the family moved, or the kids grew up, or they wanted a new challenge. Maybe that’s true. Maybe they got fired. Maybe they left because the family was impossible. You won’t know from that question.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we do thorough reference checks, so families don’t have to play detective. But if you’re hiring on your own in Austin or anywhere else, you need better questions.
What to Actually Ask About Experience and Background
Instead of asking someone to walk through their resume, ask them to describe a typical day in their last position. You’ll learn more in five minutes than you will from a chronological work history.
How did they structure their time? What did mornings look like versus afternoons? How did they prioritize when the family had competing needs? What tools or systems did they use to stay organized?
Listen for specifics. Vague answers like “I handled everything” or “I managed the household” don’t tell you anything. You want details. “I started each day by checking in with the family about their schedules, then I’d prioritize based on what was urgent versus what could wait. I kept a running list in my phone and crossed things off as I went.”
That tells you how they think and work. That’s useful.
For roles that require specific skills, like private chefs or estate managers, ask about their process. How do they plan menus? How do they handle vendor relationships? How do they approach a new project they haven’t done before?
Process questions reveal competence in ways that “do you have experience with X” questions don’t. Anyone can say yes to an experience question. Explaining a process requires actual knowledge.
The Scenario Questions That Reveal How People Think
Scenario questions are the most valuable thing you can ask in a household staff interview. Give them a realistic situation and see how they’d handle it.
For a house manager: “The HVAC breaks on a Friday afternoon in August, the repair company can’t come until Monday, and we have guests arriving tomorrow. What do you do?”
For a private chef: “You’ve planned a dinner party for eight. Two hours before guests arrive, three people text with new dietary restrictions you didn’t know about. How do you handle it?”
For a housekeeper: “You accidentally break something valuable while cleaning. What do you do?”
Listen for problem-solving skills, communication instincts, and integrity. Do they take initiative or wait for instructions? Do they communicate proactively or hide problems? Do they own mistakes or deflect?
A candidate who says “I’d call you immediately and explain what happened” is different from one who says “I’d try to fix it myself first.” Neither is wrong necessarily, but you need to know which type of person you’re hiring.
We worked with a family in Austin’s West Lake Hills who interviewed a personal assistant candidate. They asked what she’d do if she made a mistake that cost the family money. She said she’d probably try to fix it quietly and hope nobody noticed. Honest answer, wrong answer. They didn’t hire her. Six months later they heard from another family that she’d made exactly that kind of mistake and tried to cover it up. The scenario question revealed who she actually was.
How to Talk About Money Without Being Weird
Money is awkward for everyone, but you have to talk about it directly in household staff interviews.
Don’t dance around it. Don’t wait until the end. Address it early. “The salary range for this position is X to Y, depending on experience. Does that work for you?”
If it doesn’t work for them, there’s no point continuing the interview. If it does, you can move on to other topics knowing you’re in the same ballpark.
Some families get weird about discussing benefits, like they’re embarrassed to set boundaries. Don’t be. Be clear about what you’re offering. “We provide health insurance, two weeks PTO, and federal holidays. We don’t offer retirement benefits.”
Professional household staff appreciate clarity. They want to know what the deal is. Being vague or apologetic about compensation just creates confusion and wastes everyone’s time.
We see families in Austin struggle with this constantly. They don’t want to seem cheap or demanding, so they soft-pedal the salary and avoid discussing expectations. Then they hire someone, realize the compensation was misunderstood, and everyone’s frustrated.
Just be direct. “This is what we pay. This is what we expect. Does that work for you?” If yes, great. If no, that’s fine too. Move on to someone else.
Reading Body Language and Energy in the Room
Pay attention to how people show up for the interview, not just what they say.
Are they on time? Do they seem prepared? How do they present themselves? Are they comfortable or nervous? Do they make eye contact? How do they respond when you ask difficult questions?
None of this is determinative, but it gives you data. Someone who shows up 20 minutes late without calling probably isn’t great with time management. Someone who can’t make eye contact might struggle with communication. Someone who gets defensive when you ask about a gap in their resume might be hiding something.
Trust your gut about energy. Does this person feel like someone you want around? Do they seem genuinely interested in your family and your needs, or are they just looking for a paycheck?
We placed a housekeeper with a family in Austin’s Hyde Park who almost didn’t hire her because she seemed shy in the interview. But the family noticed she asked really thoughtful questions about their preferences and took notes. That thoughtfulness won out over the shyness. Turns out she was just nervous, and once she started working, she was warm and communicative.
Pay attention, but don’t over-interpret. Interviews make everyone nervous.
What to Listen For in How They Talk About Previous Families
The way candidates talk about past employers tells you a lot.
If someone speaks respectfully about previous families, even when describing why the job ended, that’s a green light. “The family was wonderful, but their youngest went to college and they didn’t need full-time help anymore. We parted on great terms.”
If someone badmouths previous families, criticizes them, or paints themselves as a victim, that’s a red flag. “My last family was impossible to work for. They never appreciated anything I did. They were so demanding.”
Maybe the family was difficult. But professional household staff know how to speak diplomatically about past positions. Someone who can’t do that will probably talk about you the same way someday.
Listen for ownership versus blame. Do they take responsibility for their part in situations, or is everything always someone else’s fault?
A personal assistant we interviewed for a family in Austin described a job that ended badly. She said, “Looking back, I should have been more direct about my bandwidth. I kept saying yes to things until I was overwhelmed, and then I wasn’t performing well. The family and I agreed it wasn’t working. I learned to communicate my limits better after that.”
That’s someone who learns and grows. That’s who you want to hire.
Red Flags That Apply to Every Role
Some warning signs apply regardless of what position you’re hiring for.
They speak negatively about all previous employers. Either they’ve had terrible luck or they’re the problem. Probably the latter.
They can’t provide references or get defensive about reference checks. If someone has worked in private homes for years and can’t give you two or three families to contact, why not?
They’re vague about gaps in employment or keep changing their story about why jobs ended. Inconsistency is a bad sign.
They overpromise or tell you everything you want to hear. “I can definitely handle all of that, no problem!” Real professionals know their limits and are honest about them.
They ask no questions about the family or the role. That means they’re not actually thinking about whether this is a good fit. They just need a job.
They push back on basic expectations or try to negotiate everything before they’re even hired. Boundaries are fine, but if someone is difficult before they start, they’ll be difficult after.
They show up unprepared, don’t know anything about your family, or clearly didn’t read the job description. That’s disrespectful of your time.
Trust your instincts on red flags. If something feels off, it probably is.
The Reference Check Conversation You Need to Have
Don’t skip reference checks. Ever. Even if you love the candidate and you’re sure they’re perfect.
Call at least two previous employers. Ask specific questions. How long did they work for you? What were their responsibilities? How did they handle stress? Were they reliable? Would you hire them again?
Listen for hesitation. If someone pauses before answering or gives lukewarm praise, dig deeper. “They were fine” is not a ringing endorsement.
Ask what you should know about working with this person. That open-ended question sometimes gets you the truth. “She’s wonderful, but she does need very clear direction. If you’re vague about what you want, she’ll struggle.”
Ask why the employment ended. Does their answer match what the candidate told you? If not, why?
We do extensive reference checks at Seaside Staffing Company before we ever present candidates to families. We’ve caught so many problems this way. People who said they left jobs voluntarily but were actually fired. People who claimed responsibilities they never had. People whose references were lukewarm at best.
Families hiring on their own in Austin or elsewhere often skip this step or do it half-heartedly. Then they’re shocked when the person they hired isn’t who they claimed to be.
Do the reference checks. Take them seriously.
When Your Gut Is Right Versus When You’re Overthinking
Sometimes your gut tells you something is wrong and you can’t articulate why. Listen to that.
If you finish an interview and feel uneasy, don’t hire that person. Even if they have perfect credentials. Even if you can’t explain the unease. Something is telling you this isn’t right. Trust it.
But sometimes your gut is just nerves because this is unfamiliar. How do you know the difference?
If your concern is “I’m not sure about this person,” that’s probably real. If your concern is “I’m not sure I know how to hire household staff,” that’s just nerves.
Ask yourself: is my hesitation about this candidate or about the whole process? If it’s the candidate, keep looking. If it’s the process, you might just need to get more comfortable with the unfamiliarity of it all.
We worked with a family in Austin who almost didn’t hire an incredible estate manager because they felt intimidated by her competence. She was so professional, so experienced, that they worried they weren’t “good enough” employers for her. That wasn’t gut instinct about her. That was their own insecurity.
We encouraged them to hire her anyway. Best decision they made. She’s been with them four years.
The Trial Day or Working Interview
If you’re unsure after a regular interview, consider a trial day or working interview.
Bring the candidate in for a paid day of work. See how they actually perform. Watch how they interact with your family, how they handle tasks, how they communicate, whether they follow through.
This is especially valuable for roles where you need to see someone in action. A housekeeper’s cleaning skills. A chef’s cooking. A nanny’s interaction with kids.
But it’s also useful for roles like house managers or personal assistants where you want to see their working style and communication approach in real situations.
Some candidates will decline trial days. That’s their right. But most professional household staff expect them and are comfortable with the concept.
Make sure it’s paid. Make sure the expectations are clear. Make sure you’re actually evaluating specific things, not just having free labor for a day.
A family in Austin hired a house manager after a trial day where she organized their chaotic garage, coordinated two contractor appointments, and handled a minor household emergency without being asked. The trial day showed them she could anticipate needs and take initiative. The interview alone wouldn’t have revealed that.
Making the Decision
After the interview, the reference checks, maybe a trial day, you have to actually decide.
Some families agonize over this. They interview ten people and can’t choose. They’re so afraid of making the wrong choice that they can’t make any choice.
Here’s the reality: there’s no perfect candidate. There’s the person who seems like the best fit based on what you know. That’s who you hire.
You’re not looking for perfection. You’re looking for someone competent, trustworthy, and compatible with your household. If you’ve done your due diligence and someone meets those criteria, hire them.
Give it a 90-day trial period if you’re nervous. That gives both of you an out if it’s not working.
But make a decision. Leaving a position open indefinitely because you can’t commit helps nobody.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we guide families through this all the time. They’re nervous, they’re unsure, they don’t trust themselves to know. We remind them that household employment is a relationship. Like any relationship, you can’t know for certain how it will go until you’re in it. You make the best decision you can with the information you have, then you see what happens.
Interview thoroughly. Ask good questions. Check references. Trust your instincts. Then hire someone and give it a real chance.
That’s how you find household staff who actually work out.
