We get calls from families asking for a chief of staff, and half the time what becomes clear during the conversation is they don’t actually know what they’re asking for. They’ve heard the title, usually from other wealthy families or from corporate contexts, and they think they need one too. But when we ask what they expect this person to do, the description is usually either a house manager, an executive assistant, three different roles combined, or something that doesn’t quite exist yet in household staffing.
The confusion makes sense because “chief of staff” is a relatively new title in private household contexts, and it means different things to different families. In corporate settings, a chief of staff is typically a senior advisor who works directly with a C-suite executive, managing projects, coordinating between departments, handling strategic initiatives. That role has clear parameters. In household settings, families are trying to apply that concept to their personal lives, and it gets messy fast.
Some families use chief of staff to mean “the person who runs absolutely everything.” They want someone who manages the household staff, coordinates personal schedules, handles travel, oversees properties, deals with vendors, manages projects, interfaces with business interests, and basically serves as the central organizing force for their entire life. This is possible, it exists, but it’s a very senior role that requires someone with serious organizational skills, discretion, and the ability to manage complex operations across multiple domains. It’s also expensive because you’re essentially hiring someone to be the COO of your personal life.
Other families use chief of staff when what they actually need is a really good executive assistant or personal assistant. They want someone managing calendars, handling correspondence, coordinating logistics, booking travel, dealing with day-to-day administration. These are important functions, but they’re not chief of staff level work. The title inflation happens because families think chief of staff sounds more prestigious or because they’re trying to attract senior talent, but using the wrong title creates confusion about what the role actually is.
Then there are families who want a chief of staff to be essentially a combination house manager, personal assistant, and project coordinator. They need someone who can oversee household operations, manage their personal scheduling and logistics, and handle special projects like renovations or major purchases. This can work, but it requires being very clear about the scope and finding someone whose skills actually span household management and personal administration. Most people specialize in one or the other, not both.
What makes family chief of staff roles particularly tricky is they often involve managing other household staff while also serving the principals directly. This dual accountability can get complicated. Are you the principals’ personal assistant who also coordinates with household staff? Are you the household operations manager who also handles personal projects for the principals? The authority structure needs to be crystal clear or you end up with confused reporting lines and staff who don’t know who they actually report to.
The role also requires working through family dynamics in ways corporate chiefs of staff don’t. You’re not just managing business operations, you’re operating within a family system with its own relationships, power dynamics, histories, and sensitivities. A corporate chief of staff can focus on organizational efficiency. A family chief of staff has to balance efficiency with family relationships, which sometimes means things can’t run as smoothly as they theoretically could because human feelings matter more than perfect systems.
Compensation for family chief of staff roles is all over the place because the role itself is so inconsistently defined. We see families offering $80k for what’s basically a senior personal assistant with an inflated title, and we see families paying $180k for someone who’s genuinely running multi-faceted operations. The pay needs to match what you’re actually asking someone to do, not just what title you’re attaching to it.
The families who make this role work well are very specific about what they need. They clearly define responsibilities, they establish reporting structures, they’re honest about complexity, and they hire accordingly. They don’t just say “we need a chief of staff” and assume the person will figure out what that means. They describe the actual work, the actual authority, the actual scope, and they find someone whose skills match the reality rather than just the title.
The role works best when there’s actual high-level coordinating and managing to be done. If you have complex household operations, multiple properties, significant travel, business interests that intersect with personal life, kids with complex schedules, philanthropic commitments, major ongoing projects, then a chief of staff role makes sense. You genuinely need someone senior who can see across all of it and make sure things are coordinated. If your life is simpler than that, you probably need different roles rather than trying to create a chief of staff position where the scope doesn’t really justify it.
What doesn’t work is using chief of staff as a catch-all for “we need help but we’re not sure with what.” That creates roles where the person is supposed to do everything and anything, with no clear scope or boundaries. It leads to burnout and turnover because nobody can succeed in a role that’s perpetually undefined.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we spend a lot of time with families who say they need a chief of staff, helping them figure out what they actually need. Sometimes it is genuinely a chief of staff role. More often, they need a really good personal assistant or executive assistant or house manager, and we help them understand the difference. The title matters less than getting clear about the work and hiring someone whose skills match what you actually need done. Call it whatever makes sense, just be honest about what the job actually is.
