Trial days feel like they should be useful. You get to see how a nanny actually interacts with your kids before committing to hiring them. They get to see if your family’s a good fit. Makes total sense, right?
Except half the trial days families do are complete theater that tells them basically nothing useful. Everyone’s on their best behavior performing rather than being real. The nanny’s trying to impress you. Your kids are either super excited about a new person or totally weird and clingy. You’re hovering anxiously trying to assess everything. The whole thing’s so artificial that you learn almost nothing about how this person would actually function in the role day-to-day.
Then there are trial days that actually work – where you learn genuine information that helps you make smart hiring decisions. The difference isn’t random. It’s about how you structure them and what you’re paying attention to.
After twenty years of working with families throughout San Diego and beyond, I’ve seen enough trial days to know what actually predicts success versus what’s just performance. Let me walk you through it.
The one-hour trial is useless
Some families do one-hour “trials” where a nanny candidate comes over, plays with the kids briefly, everyone chats, then the family makes a hiring decision based on that hour.
That tells you absolutely nothing except whether this person can be pleasant and engaging for 60 minutes. Which basically every nanny candidate can do because it’s their job to be good with kids.
You’re not seeing how they handle difficult moments. You’re not seeing their judgment under pressure. You’re not seeing whether they can actually manage your kids’ real behavior. You’re just seeing a performance.
One-hour trials are barely better than just doing an interview. Don’t treat them like they’re meaningful assessments of someone’s capabilities.
The full-day trial shows way more
Full-day trials – like 6-8 hours where the nanny’s actually doing the job – show you much more useful information.
You see how they handle the morning routine chaos. You see how they manage lunch and snacks. You see how they handle transitions between activities. You see whether they can keep kids engaged for hours, not just distract them briefly. You see how they problem-solve when stuff doesn’t go as planned.
That’s actual job performance, not just auditioning. The longer the trial, the harder it is to maintain a performance and the more you see someone’s real working style.
San Diego families often do beach or park trials since weather’s usually cooperative. That’s fine, but make sure part of the trial happens at home too. You need to see how someone navigates your house, uses your kitchen, finds stuff, and manages the actual environment where they’ll be working.
What you should actually watch for
Forget whether your kids seem to like the candidate. Kids are weird and unpredictable during trials. Sometimes they’re instantly attached to mediocre candidates. Sometimes they’re standoffish with people who’d be great long-term. First-day kid reactions don’t predict much.
Watch for these things instead:
Does the candidate take initiative without needing constant direction? Good nannies see what needs doing and do it. Weak candidates wait to be told everything.
How do they handle kids not listening or cooperating? All kids test boundaries. You want to see how candidates respond – do they stay calm, do they have actual strategies, do they get flustered?
Do they clean up as they go or leave mess everywhere? This tells you about their standards and whether they’ll leave your house chaotic daily.
How do they communicate with you during the day? Do they update you appropriately without being needy? Do they ask good questions? Do they seem confident or uncertain constantly?
What’s their energy level like afternoon versus morning? Some candidates start strong and fade hard. You want someone who maintains good engagement all day.
Do they follow your guidance about rules and routines, or do they just do their own thing? You’re assessing whether they can actually work within your family’s structure.
The red flags that matter
Some red flags during trials are absolute disqualifiers that families sometimes talk themselves out of recognizing.
The candidate who’s on their phone constantly while kids are playing. That’s not nervousness – that’s showing you they’ll do this daily.
The candidate who speaks negatively about previous families or positions during the trial. If they’re trashing past employers when trying to impress you, imagine what they’ll say about you eventually.
The candidate who can’t handle basic tasks without asking for help constantly. Making lunch shouldn’t require extensive instructions if someone’s experienced.
The candidate who seems annoyed or frustrated when kids are being normal kids. Your kids aren’t performing perfectly today – this is real kid behavior. If the candidate can’t handle it during a trial, they definitely can’t handle it daily.
The candidate who doesn’t engage with kids meaningfully and just plops them in front of screens. Unless that’s explicitly what you want, this shows low effort.
Don’t ignore red flags during trials hoping they’ll improve once hired. They won’t. What you see during trials is usually the best version of someone – it only gets more relaxed from there, not better.
The green lights worth noticing
Strong candidates show specific behaviors during trials that predict long-term success.
They engage with kids at the kids’ level – getting down on the floor, matching energy, genuinely interested in what kids are doing. It’s not performative, it feels natural.
They handle challenging moments calmly without getting flustered or angry. Kids not listening? They redirect effectively. Kids fighting? They intervene appropriately.
They ask smart questions about your family’s preferences, schedules, routines, rules. They’re trying to understand how to do things your way, not just imposing their approach.
They notice things – that your daughter’s getting tired, that your son needs a snack, that someone’s bored with the current activity. Good nannies read kids well and stay ahead of problems.
They clean up messes without being asked. They put toys away, wipe tables, tidy as they go. This shows good standards.
They communicate appropriately – updating you about the day without overwhelming you, asking when genuinely unsure, handling most stuff independently.
They show genuine warmth without being fake. You can tell the difference between someone performing enthusiasm versus someone who actually enjoys being with kids.
The parent-present problem
Lots of families stay home during trials, which completely changes the dynamic. Kids act different when parents are around. Nannies feel awkward performing while being watched. Nobody’s behaving normally.
If possible, leave for at least part of the trial. Run errands, go to lunch, give the candidate actual independence with your kids. You learn way more from how things went without you there than from hovering and observing directly.
Obviously stay home for some of the trial so you can see interactions firsthand. But at least a few hours of parent-absent time shows you how the candidate actually functions in the role.
Have your nanny cam or check-in system running if that makes you comfortable leaving. But give them real independence during part of the trial.
Multiple trial days show consistency
One trial day shows you one data point. Two or three trial days show you whether someone’s consistent or whether they had one good day.
We recommend at least two separate trial days if possible, ideally on different days of the week so you see different routines and dynamics.
If someone’s excellent both times, you’ve got much better data than from one trial. If someone’s inconsistent – great one day, struggling another day – that tells you something too.
Yes, multiple trials cost more money since you’re paying for trial time. But it’s worth it compared to making bad hiring decisions based on limited information.
The candidate’s trial matters too
Remember trials aren’t just for you to assess candidates – candidates are also assessing whether your family’s a good fit for them.
Strong candidates are watching whether you’re reasonable, whether your kids are manageable, whether your home environment feels comfortable, whether your expectations seem realistic. They’re deciding if they want this position.
If you’re disorganized during trials, if you’re hovering constantly giving contradictory instructions, if your kids are completely out of control with no structure, if you’re being unrealistic about expectations – good candidates are noticing all that.
Treat trial days as professional opportunities to show candidates why working for your family would be good, not just as auditions where you’re judging them. The best nannies have options. You want them choosing you.
Paying for trials appropriately
Always pay for trial days. Expecting candidates to work for free is both wrong and illegal in most circumstances.
Pay at least the hourly rate you’d pay once they’re hired. Some families pay slightly more for trials since candidates aren’t getting guaranteed hours.
Be upfront about payment terms before trials happen. Don’t spring it on candidates afterward that trials are unpaid or paid way less than the actual position.
Professional candidates expect fair payment for trial time. Trying to avoid paying for trials signals that you don’t value their time or work, which makes strong candidates eliminate you from consideration.
What to do after trials
Have a debrief conversation with your partner or anyone else involved in the hiring decision. What did you each notice? Do you agree on assessment? What questions or concerns do you still have?
If you’re interested in moving forward, tell the candidate quickly. Good nannies are likely interviewing with multiple families. Delaying while you overthink everything means you might lose candidates to faster-moving families.
If you’re not interested, also tell them quickly. Don’t ghost candidates after trials. They took time to work with your family – give them clear communication about your decision.
If you’re uncertain, maybe do one more trial day before deciding. But don’t string candidates along with endless trials while you can’t make up your mind. Two or three trials should give you enough information to decide.
When trials don’t match reality
Sometimes candidates are great during trials but struggle once actually employed. The trial environment was artificial enough that it didn’t reveal problems that emerge in daily work.
That’s partly inevitable – you can’t perfectly simulate months of employment in a couple trial days. But you can minimize mismatch by making trials as realistic as possible (longer duration, real routines, parent-absent time, genuine work scenarios).
If someone you hired isn’t performing like they did during trials, address it quickly rather than hoping it improves. Maybe they were performing during trials and now you’re seeing their real capabilities. That’s okay to acknowledge and to make different decisions based on.
San Diego-specific considerations
San Diego families often do beach or outdoor trials, which is fine for part of the assessment. But balance it with home-based trials too. You need to see how candidates handle your actual daily environment, not just special activities.
Traffic and commute matter here. Make sure trial timing reflects actual schedule realities. If you need someone at 7am, do a morning trial so you see if they can actually get there on time. Don’t do afternoon trials and assume morning performance will be the same.
Weather’s usually cooperative for trials, but occasionally test how candidates handle indoor days too. You won’t always be going to the beach or park – you need someone who can manage your kids at home for full days.
Trust your instincts but verify them
If something feels off during a trial, pay attention to that even if you can’t articulate exactly what’s wrong. Your gut’s picking up on something worth considering.
But also verify your instincts with concrete observations. What specifically made you uncomfortable? Was it actual concerning behavior or just nervousness about making a decision?
Don’t ignore red flags because you’re tired of interviewing. Don’t talk yourself into candidates who aren’t right just because you need someone now. And don’t overthink trials with candidates who are clearly great because you’re anxious about committing.
Trial days are tools for gathering information. Use them well by making them realistic, paying attention to what actually matters, and making decisions based on substance rather than performance. When you do that, trials genuinely help you make better hiring choices. When you don’t, you’re just going through motions that waste everyone’s time.
