A family called us last month needing help. They’d hired a housekeeper six months earlier, but things still felt chaotic. The house was clean, sure. But they were still drowning.
Turns out they didn’t need a housekeeper. They needed a house manager.
This happens constantly. Families know they need help, but they don’t know what kind of help. So they hire someone, anyone, and wonder why it doesn’t fix the problem. At Seaside Staffing Company, we have this conversation weekly with families across Seattle and beyond. They’re frustrated because they already tried hiring help and it didn’t work. Usually that’s because they hired for the wrong role.
The tricky part is that most household roles sound similar from the outside. A housekeeper, a house manager, a personal assistant, they all “help run the house,” right? Except they really don’t do the same things at all. Hiring the wrong one is like going to a doctor when you need a lawyer. Sure, they’re both professionals, but they can’t solve your problem.
So before you hire anyone, you need to figure out what’s actually broken. Not what role sounds good or what your neighbor has. What specific problem are you trying to solve?
Start With What’s Actually Broken
Most people start with a role in mind. “I need a housekeeper” or “I should probably get a nanny.” But that’s backwards. Start with the problem.
What’s making you crazy right now? What’s falling through the cracks? What keeps you up at night? Is it the physical state of your house, the mental load of managing everything, the kids, the meals, the calendar, all of it?
Be specific. “Everything is overwhelming” doesn’t tell you what you need. But “I’m spending five hours a week managing contractors and I hate it” does. That’s a house manager problem, not a housekeeper problem.
We worked with a family in Seattle last year who were convinced they needed a private chef. The wife was exhausted, cooking felt impossible, they were eating out constantly. But when we dug into it, the issue wasn’t actually cooking. It was that nobody had time to plan meals, grocery shop, or think about what to make. They didn’t need a chef. They needed a house manager who could handle meal planning and a housekeeper who could prep ingredients. Totally different solution, half the cost.
The “Too Much On My Plate” Diagnosis
If your problem is that you’re managing too many things and drowning in logistics, you probably need either a personal assistant or a house manager. These roles overlap some, but they’re different.
A personal assistant manages you. Your calendar, your emails, your appointments, your travel, your life logistics. They’re handling the administrative burden of being you. A house manager manages your house. Contractors, maintenance, household staff, supplies, systems. They’re handling the operational burden of owning property.
Some families need one, some need both. If you’re an executive who travels constantly and can’t keep track of anything, that’s a PA. If your house is falling apart because nobody’s coordinating repairs and managing projects, that’s a house manager. If both those things are true, you might need both people.
Here’s the thing though: a house manager can often absorb some PA-type tasks if your household is the main source of chaos. But a PA usually can’t manage property and contractors effectively. Those are different skill sets.
We placed a house manager with a family in Seattle’s Madison Park neighborhood who thought they needed a PA. Turns out the husband’s actual assistant at work was fine. What was killing them was that their home renovation had been going on for eight months with no end in sight, they had three vacation properties that needed management, and nobody was handling any of it. The house manager took over all of that. Suddenly the renovation finished, the vacation homes got properly maintained, and the family could breathe again.
The “House Is a Disaster” Diagnosis
If your house is physically a mess, you might need a housekeeper. Or you might need a house manager. How do you know which?
Housekeepers clean. They maintain the physical cleanliness and order of your home. Laundry, dishes, bathrooms, floors, kitchen, bedrooms. The actual work of keeping a house clean. If your problem is that the house is dirty and you don’t have time to clean it, hire a housekeeper.
But if your problem is that the house is clean enough but nothing else works, that’s different. The refrigerator broke and nobody scheduled the repair. You’re out of paper towels and nobody orders supplies. The landscapers haven’t shown up in three weeks. The cleaners keep missing spots because nobody’s managing them. That’s a house manager problem.
House managers coordinate. They make sure systems work, vendors show up, problems get solved, and the household runs smoothly. They often manage housekeepers, but they’re not doing the actual cleaning themselves.
A lot of families hire a housekeeper when what they really need is a house manager. Then they’re frustrated because yes, the house is cleaner, but all the operational chaos is still there. We see this especially with families who have multiple properties or large homes in areas like Seattle’s Laurelhurst or Broadmoor. The cleaning part is almost secondary to the coordination part.
The “Food Is Stressing Me Out” Diagnosis
If meals are your main source of stress, you might need a private chef. Or you might not.
Private chefs plan menus, shop for ingredients, cook meals, and manage the kitchen. They’re professionals who often come from restaurant backgrounds. They can accommodate dietary restrictions, cook for dinner parties, and create sophisticated meals. They’re also expensive.
But a lot of families who think they need a private chef actually just need someone to handle the meal planning and prep work. A house manager or a housekeeper can do grocery shopping and basic meal prep. Some housekeepers are comfortable cooking simple family meals. That might be enough.
The question is what level of cooking you actually need. If you want restaurant-quality meals, dietary customization, and professional kitchen management, hire a chef. If you just need someone to make sure there’s food in the house and dinner on the table, you have cheaper options.
We worked with a tech family in Seattle who hired a private chef for three days a week. It was perfect. The chef planned the week’s meals, did all the shopping, cooked Sunday through Tuesday, and left prepped ingredients and instructions for the family to handle Wednesday and Thursday. They ate out Fridays and Saturdays. Cost was manageable, food stress disappeared, everyone was happy.
But another family tried a full-time chef and it felt like overkill. They ended up switching to a house manager who could cook and that worked better. There’s no single right answer.
The “Everything With the Kids” Diagnosis
If your stress is kid-related, you probably need childcare help. But what kind?
Nannies provide childcare. That’s their primary job. Playing with kids, managing schedules, doing activities, handling routines. Some nannies do kid-related tasks like children’s laundry or meal prep, but their focus is the children.
Family assistants do more. They manage the kids’ lives in addition to providing care. Scheduling appointments, coordinating with schools, planning activities, managing kids’ spaces, handling all the logistics around children. It’s childcare plus household management focused on the child-related parts of family life.
If you just need someone to watch your kids and keep them safe and engaged, hire a nanny. If you need someone to manage the entire operational side of having children, hire a family assistant. If you need both and have young kids, you might need both a nanny and a family assistant, or a really experienced family assistant who can do it all.
The other factor is whether you need help beyond childcare. Some families hire a nanny and then realize they still need help with everything else. Sometimes it makes more sense to hire a house manager and a part-time nanny instead of a full-time nanny alone.
Household Size Matters More Than You Think
The size of your home and the complexity of your life determine what you need.
A 2,000-square-foot condo in downtown Seattle has different needs than a 7,000-square-foot house in Medina. An apartment needs a housekeeper. A large estate might need a house manager, a housekeeper, and groundskeeping help.
If you have one property and a relatively simple life, you probably need one person. If you have multiple properties, constant travel, complex schedules, and a lot of moving parts, you probably need a team.
We tell families to think about hours of work, not just tasks. How many hours a week would it take to handle everything you need handled? If it’s 20 hours, hire someone part-time. If it’s 40 hours, hire someone full-time. If it’s 80 hours, you need two people.
A family in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood thought they needed a house manager. But their condo was 1,800 square feet and they both worked from home. What they actually needed was a housekeeper three days a week to keep things clean and do basic errands. Hiring a house manager would have been overkill and expensive.
Meanwhile, a family in Bellevue with a 6,000-square-foot house, three kids, two dogs, and a vacation home in the San Juans needed a house manager, a housekeeper, and a nanny. One person couldn’t have handled it all.
When You Actually Need Multiple People From Day One
Some households are too complex for one person to manage. If you have all of these things happening at once, you probably need multiple staff members:
Large house that needs significant upkeep. Multiple children needing care and schedule management. Complex household operations with lots of vendors and coordination. Frequent travel requiring logistics. Multiple properties needing oversight.
You can’t expect one person to be a housekeeper, a nanny, a house manager, and a personal assistant. Those are different jobs requiring different skills.
The trick is figuring out which roles to hire first. Usually you hire for the most urgent need, get that stabilized, then add the second person. But sometimes you need to hire two people at the same time because the needs are equal.
We placed a house manager and a housekeeper simultaneously for a family in Seattle’s Washington Park who had just moved from a condo to a much larger home. They needed both immediately. The house manager handled the operational complexity of the new property, the housekeeper handled the physical maintenance. Neither could have done both jobs.
The Hire One Person First Strategy That Works
For most families, hiring one person first makes sense. Get that relationship working, figure out what still needs help, then hire the next person.
Start with whatever is causing you the most pain right now. If the house is a physical disaster, hire a housekeeper. If you’re drowning in logistics, hire a house manager or PA. If the kids are the main issue, hire a nanny or family assistant. Solve the biggest problem first.
Give it 90 days. See what improves and what’s still broken. Then you’ll know what to hire for next.
A lot of families in Seattle do this progression: housekeeper first, then house manager, then PA or chef. The housekeeper solves the immediate cleanliness issue. Then they realize they need operational help, so they add a house manager. Then they realize meals are still stressing them out, so they add a chef or give the house manager more responsibility around food.
There’s no shame in hiring incrementally. You’re learning what you actually need as you go.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Hire Anyone
Before you post a job or call an agency, answer these questions honestly.
What specific tasks am I trying to get off my plate? Be detailed. “Managing the house” is too vague. “Coordinating contractor repairs, ordering household supplies, scheduling maintenance, and managing the housekeeper” is specific.
How many hours a week would those tasks take? This tells you if you need part-time or full-time help.
Do I need someone with specialized skills or just reliable help? A private chef needs culinary training. A housekeeper needs reliability and attention to detail. Know which you need.
What’s my budget? Different roles have very different costs. Know what you can afford before you get attached to a role you can’t pay for.
Am I willing to have someone in my home regularly? Some people love having household staff around. Others find it intrusive. Be honest about your comfort level.
Do I have space for a live-in arrangement if that would make sense? Live-in can solve some logistical problems but requires appropriate space and boundaries.
What’s the most painful part of my current situation? Start there. That’s the first hire.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we walk families through these questions constantly. Sometimes they come to us knowing exactly what they need. More often, they come to us overwhelmed and confused. That’s fine. Figuring out what you need is part of the process. But you can’t hire well until you’re clear on what problem you’re actually solving.
Start with the pain point. Be specific about what’s broken. Match the role to the problem, not the other way around. That’s how you hire household staff that actually helps instead of just adding another complicated relationship to manage.
