You’re hiring your first housekeeper and you genuinely have no idea what to pay. You searched online and found ranges from $25 to $65 an hour, which is not helpful at all. You asked other families what they pay and got vague non-answers or obvious lies. You don’t want to overpay and set yourself up for problems down the road, but you also don’t want to lowball the offer and lose good candidates or insult people. You’re stuck trying to figure out fair compensation with basically zero reliable information.
This is one of the most common problems families face when hiring household staff for the first time. At Seaside Staffing Company, we get calls constantly from families in San Diego and everywhere else who have no frame of reference for what household employees actually cost. The lack of transparency in this industry makes it really hard to know what’s reasonable, and getting it wrong in either direction creates problems. Here’s how to figure out what you should actually be paying.
Why Nobody Tells You What They Pay
You’ve probably noticed that when you ask other families what they pay their household staff, you get weirdly evasive answers. There are reasons for this. Some families genuinely don’t want to share because they think compensation is private information, like asking someone their salary. Some are embarrassed because they know they’re underpaying and don’t want to admit it. Some are paying way more than market rate and don’t want you to know because it makes them look either foolish or like they’re showing off. Some families will straight up lie about what they pay because they don’t want their own staff to find out the truth and ask for raises. The secrecy creates an information vacuum that makes it nearly impossible for new families to figure out fair rates.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we wish this industry had more transparency because the lack of it hurts everyone. Families overpay because they don’t know better, or they drastically underpay and can’t keep good staff. Household employees have no idea what they should be asking for and either undervalue themselves or make unreasonable demands. A family in San Diego’s La Jolla asked six other families what they paid their housekeepers and got six completely different answers ranging from $30 to $55 an hour, with most people being vague about whether that included benefits or if staff were contractors versus employees. They had no idea which number to believe or what was actually standard for the area.
What Actually Affects Household Staff Pay
Several factors affect what you should pay, and understanding them helps you figure out the right range for your situation. Experience and qualifications matter significantly. someone with ten years of professional experience and certifications should earn more than someone just starting out. The specific role and responsibilities affect pay. a housekeeper who just cleans is paid differently than a house manager who also handles vendors, scheduling, and household operations. Your location makes a huge difference. San Diego rates are different from rates in smaller cities, and even within San Diego, coastal areas typically pay more than inland areas. Whether the position is full-time or part-time changes the calculus. full-time positions often include benefits which add to total compensation. Live-in versus live-out arrangements have different pay structures because room and board has monetary value.
The current market also matters. what staff could earn working for someone else right now, what other families in your area are offering, what the demand is like. During times when good household staff are hard to find, rates go up. And honestly, what you can actually afford is a factor too, though it shouldn’t be the only factor. At Seaside Staffing Company, we help families think through all these variables to land on compensation that’s fair to the staff member and sustainable for the family. A family in Del Mar wanted to hire a house manager but had only budgeted for housekeeper-level pay. We had to explain that house management is a more senior role requiring more skills and experience, and the compensation needed to reflect that or they wouldn’t attract qualified candidates.
Getting Real Numbers for Your Area
Since other families won’t tell you what they pay, how do you get actual numbers? Call a reputable household staffing agency like Seaside Staffing Company and ask what the current market rates are in your area for the role you’re hiring. Good agencies know exactly what the market is because they place people constantly. Search job postings for household staff positions in your area. while many don’t list salaries, some do, and it gives you a general range. Join local parent groups or household employer groups where people sometimes share compensation information more freely than they do in person. Look at regional cost of labor data if you can find it. some cities publish this kind of information.
Be aware that online salary databases are often wildly inaccurate for household staff because the data is self-reported and inconsistent. At Seaside Staffing Company, we tell families to treat online ranges as very rough starting points, not gospel. What you really need is current local market information from people who are actively placing household staff in your specific area right now. A family in Coronado found salary ranges online that were three years old and significantly lower than current market rates. They initially offered based on those outdated numbers and couldn’t understand why no qualified candidates were interested. Current market rates had gone up considerably, and they were offering 20% below what people were getting elsewhere.
Understanding Total Compensation vs. Hourly Rate
When you’re comparing what to pay, make sure you’re comparing apples to apples. Some families quote hourly rates that don’t include any benefits. Others quote lower hourly rates but include health insurance, paid time off, and other benefits that have real monetary value. A housekeeper making $35 an hour with no benefits is actually earning less than a housekeeper making $30 an hour with full health insurance, three weeks paid vacation, paid holidays, and an annual bonus. When you’re figuring out what to offer, think about total compensation. the hourly or salary rate plus any benefits you’re providing. This is especially important for full-time positions where benefits are expected.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we encourage families to think about the whole package they’re offering, not just the hourly number. Sometimes you can offer a slightly lower hourly rate but make up for it with generous benefits that actually cost you less than a higher salary would. A family in Point Loma offered their full-time housekeeper $32 an hour, which was slightly below market, but also offered full health insurance (which they got at a good rate through their business), four weeks PTO, all major holidays paid, and a year-end bonus. The total package was actually quite competitive even though the hourly rate alone looked low. They were able to attract a great candidate who valued the benefits.
The Underpaying Problem
Some families try to save money by paying below market rate. This always backfires. When you underpay household staff, you get one of several bad outcomes. You attract only inexperienced or unqualified candidates because good ones won’t work for below-market rates. You get someone good but they leave quickly when they realize they can earn more elsewhere, so you’re constantly hiring and training new people. Your staff resents the low pay and does mediocre work because they’re not motivated. Your staff takes other jobs on the side to make up the income, which affects their energy and reliability for your job. You develop a reputation as a cheap employer and have trouble hiring in the future.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we see families try to save a few dollars an hour on household staff pay and end up spending way more in turnover, training time, and dealing with unreliable or poor-quality work. Paying market rate or slightly above is actually cheaper in the long run because you keep good people. A family in San Diego tried to hire a nanny for $22 an hour when market rate was $30-35. They cycled through four nannies in eighteen months because no one good would stay at that rate. They spent more time and money on constant turnover than they would have spent just paying appropriately from the beginning. Each new hire meant interviews, background checks, training, and disruption to their kids’ routines.
The Overpaying Problem
On the flip side, some families overpay significantly, and this creates different problems. When you pay way above market rate, you set an unsustainable precedent that’s hard to maintain. If you need to bring on additional staff later, they’ll expect similar inflated pay. If you ever need to adjust compensation back toward market rate, your staff will be upset even though they were overpaid to begin with. You might attract people who are motivated by the high pay rather than being good at the job. And honestly, significantly overpaying can make staff uncomfortable too. they might wonder why you’re paying so much and worry about unreasonable expectations or strings attached.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we recommend paying at or slightly above market rate, not dramatically above it. You want compensation to be fair and attractive, but not so inflated that it creates weird dynamics. A family in La Jolla offered their housekeeper $70 an hour when market rate was $40-45, thinking it would ensure they got someone amazing and loyal. What happened instead was the housekeeper felt awkward about the overpay and worried constantly about what they expected for that rate. When they hired a house manager later and offered market rate, that person was offended that the housekeeper earned more despite having a less senior role. The pay structure was out of whack and created tension.
Starting Pay vs. Pay After Proven Performance
You don’t have to offer top-of-market rates right from the start. It’s reasonable to start someone at a fair market rate with the understanding that pay will increase based on performance. Make this clear during hiring. “We’re starting you at $X, which is market rate for this role. After 90 days, if things are going well, we’ll review and adjust. Annual raises are standard in this household.” This protects you from overpaying someone who doesn’t work out while still offering a path to higher compensation for good performers. Just make sure the starting rate is actually fair; you can’t lowball and promise future raises that may never materialize.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we help families structure compensation with trial periods and performance increases built in. A family in Encinitas hired a house manager at $65,000 annually with a clear agreement that after six months, they’d review performance and adjust up to $75,000 if things were working well. This gave them protection if the hire didn’t work out, and gave the house manager a clear path to higher pay. After six months she’d proven herself completely, they increased her salary as promised, and she stayed with them for years because they’d been transparent and fair.
Benefits and What’s Expected
For full-time household staff, certain benefits are basically expected in professional households. Paid time off is standard. usually two to three weeks per year for newer staff, more for long-term employees. Paid holidays for major federal holidays. Paid sick days. typically five to ten days annually. Health insurance contribution or allowance for full-time staff, though not all families provide this. End-of-year bonus for staff who’ve been with you a full year. For part-time staff, expectations are different. PTO might be pro-rated or unpaid, benefits might not be included. Make sure you’re clear about what you’re offering and that it aligns with what’s standard for the type of position.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we see families get into trouble when they offer no benefits at all for full-time positions, or when they’re vague about what’s included. A family in Carlsbad hired a full-time nanny but didn’t offer any PTO, sick days, or benefits. The nanny assumed standard benefits were included and was shocked to find out otherwise. She left after four months feeling taken advantage of. Clear communication about total compensation including benefits prevents these misunderstandings.
Paying Legally vs. Under the Table
This affects your actual costs significantly. If you’re paying staff legally as household employees, you’re responsible for payroll taxes, workers compensation insurance, and proper tax withholding. This adds roughly 15-20% to your total cost beyond the salary. If you’re paying cash under the table, you avoid these costs but take on legal risk. We’ll get into the legal versus under-table decision more in another discussion, but for budgeting purposes, understand that legal employment costs more than just the salary number. Don’t offer someone $30 an hour and then balk when you realize payroll taxes add $5-6 per hour to your actual cost.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we always recommend legal employment and we help families budget for the real total cost including taxes and insurance. A family in Pacific Beach offered their housekeeper $35 an hour thinking that was their total cost. When they set up legal payroll, they were surprised to discover their actual cost was closer to $42 an hour with taxes and insurance. They should have budgeted for that from the beginning.
Asking Candidates What They’re Looking For
One approach is to ask candidates what their salary expectations are during the interview process. This gives you information about what they think is fair and what the market is. If multiple candidates are all asking for similar ranges, that tells you something about market rate. If someone asks for dramatically more or less than others, that’s useful data too. Just be aware that some candidates will lowball themselves because they don’t know their value, and some will ask for more than market rate hoping you don’t know better. Use their answers as data points, not as the only factor in your decision.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we often ask candidates about salary expectations as part of the screening process so families know what range they’re working with before interviews. A family in Mission Hills was planning to offer $28-30 an hour for a housekeeper position. Every candidate they spoke with was expecting $35-40. This told them immediately that their planned budget was too low for the current market, and they needed to either adjust their budget or adjust the role.
Regional Differences Within the Same City
Even within San Diego, what you pay varies by neighborhood and area. Coastal areas like La Jolla, Del Mar, and Coronado typically pay more than inland areas. This isn’t just about cost of living. it’s also about what other families in those areas are paying and what the local market rate has become. If you’re in a wealthy coastal neighborhood, expect to pay on the higher end of ranges because that’s what the competition is offering. If you’re inland or in a less expensive area, you might pay closer to the middle of the range. Don’t assume the citywide average applies to your specific neighborhood.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we give families neighborhood-specific guidance because the variations can be significant. A family in Rancho Bernardo asked what they should pay for a nanny and we gave them a different range than we’d give a family in Rancho Santa Fe, even though they’re not far apart geographically. The local market rates in those two areas are measurably different based on what other families are offering.
When You Genuinely Can’t Afford Market Rate
Sometimes families want household help but truly can’t afford market rates for the kind of help they want. If this is your situation, you have options. Hire for fewer hours. part-time help is more affordable than full-time. Adjust the role to match what you can afford. maybe you need a housekeeper, not a house manager. Consider a nanny share arrangement where you split cost with another family. Look for less experienced candidates who are building their careers and will accept lower pay for the opportunity. Be completely transparent about your budget limitations and what you can offer. Some candidates might be willing to work for slightly below market for a great family, flexible schedule, or other non-monetary benefits.
What you can’t do is expect to pay dramatically below market and get experienced, professional household staff. At Seaside Staffing Company, we help families figure out creative solutions when budget is tight, but we’re also honest about what’s realistic. A family in Chula Vista wanted a full-time house manager but could only afford about 60% of market rate for that role. We helped them reframe. they hired a part-time housekeeper instead, which they could afford, and they handled management themselves. It wasn’t their ideal scenario, but it was sustainable for their budget.
Figuring out what to pay household staff when you have no reference point is genuinely hard. Do your research on current local market rates from reliable sources. Think about total compensation, not just hourly rate. Consider experience level and role responsibilities. Pay fairly. not dramatically above or below market. Be clear about what’s included in the compensation package. Budget for the real total cost including taxes if you’re paying legally. And when in doubt, work with a reputable household staffing agency that knows exactly what the current market is in your area. Getting compensation right from the start sets you up for a stable, long-term working relationship with good staff.
