Your estate manager just told you she’s leaving in two weeks. You’re panicked. She runs everything. You don’t even know half of what she does. How are you supposed to function without her?
This happens to families in Seattle and everywhere else. Good household staff give notice. Sometimes it’s relocation. Sometimes it’s a better opportunity. Sometimes it’s family reasons. And sometimes, yes, it’s because the job wasn’t working for them.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we help families manage staff transitions constantly. The families who handle departures well do specific things during that notice period. The ones who don’t end up scrambling for months trying to figure out what the person actually did and how to replace them.
Here’s how to handle household staff transitions without losing your mind or your household operations.
Why Good Staff Leave
Before we get into how to manage the transition, understand that good people leave good jobs all the time. It’s not always about you.
People relocate for family reasons. They move to care for aging parents or because their spouse got transferred. They leave cities for cost of living or lifestyle reasons.
People take better opportunities. Your house manager might get offered an estate manager position that’s a career step up. Your private chef might get recruited to a higher-paying job. Your nanny might decide to start her own childcare business.
People’s life circumstances change. They have kids and want different hours. They get married and their spouse’s job affects their location. They inherit money and want to travel. They decide to go back to school.
People burn out. Even in good jobs. Household work is demanding. Some people reach a point where they need a break or a change.
And yes, sometimes people leave because the job isn’t working. The workload is too much, the family dynamic is difficult, the compensation isn’t keeping up with market rates, the boundaries are unclear. Those departures are more preventable, but they happen too.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we do exit interviews with candidates who leave placements. The most common reasons for departure are: relocation, career advancement opportunities elsewhere, and life changes. Actual job dissatisfaction is third or fourth on the list.
So when your house manager gives notice, don’t immediately assume you did something wrong. Ask why she’s leaving. Listen to the answer. Often it truly has nothing to do with you.
How to Respond When Someone Gives Notice
Your initial response matters. Don’t guilt-trip them. Don’t get angry. Don’t panic visibly (at least not in front of them).
Take a breath. Thank them for letting you know. Ask when their last day will be. Ask if they’re willing to help with the transition.
Then give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel: stressed, sad, frustrated, worried. Those feelings are valid. Managing household operations without your key person is legitimately hard.
But direct those feelings at the situation, not at the person who’s leaving. They don’t owe you their entire career. They’re making the best decision for themselves, just like you would.
A family in Seattle had a phenomenal estate manager for six years. When she gave notice (her husband got transferred to Portland), the family’s first response was hurt and anger. “How could you do this to us?” They made her feel terrible about a decision she had to make for her family. Her last two weeks were awkward and tense. She left with a bad taste in her mouth and declined to help them find a replacement even though she would have.
Compare that to another Seattle family whose house manager gave notice to go back to school for her master’s degree. The family was disappointed but supportive. They congratulated her, asked how they could help with the transition, and wrote her a glowing recommendation letter. She spent her last three weeks documenting everything, introducing them to her vendor contacts, and helping interview her replacement. She left on excellent terms.
Your response sets the tone for the transition period. Respond with grace even if you’re internally freaking out.
The Two-Week Notice Standard
In household employment, two weeks notice is standard. Some people give more, especially for senior positions or long-term placements. Some people give less if the situation is urgent or contentious.
If someone gives you two weeks, that’s professional and expected. Don’t take it as an insult. They’re giving you time to plan and transition.
If someone gives you more than two weeks, that’s generous. Accept it gratefully. Extra time helps enormously.
If someone gives you less than two weeks or quits effective immediately, that’s harder but it happens. Usually it means the job situation was untenable or something urgent came up in their life. Handle it as best you can.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we tell candidates to give two weeks minimum for professional positions. For very senior roles or long-term placements, we encourage three to four weeks if possible. Families need time to process the departure and start planning for replacement.
A private chef in Seattle gave his employers six weeks notice when he decided to move back to California. The family was able to hire his replacement, have a week of overlap for training, and barely skip a beat. The chef’s generosity made all the difference.
What Should Happen During the Notice Period
The notice period isn’t just working out the clock. It’s active transition time. Here’s what should happen:
Documentation. The departing staff member should write down everything. Systems, procedures, vendor contacts, passwords, preferences, quirks about the house or family. Everything that’s in their head needs to get on paper.
Knowledge transfer. They should walk you or the incoming replacement through their typical responsibilities. What they do daily, weekly, monthly. What needs attention seasonally. What you might not realize they’re handling.
Introductions. If they have relationships with vendors, contractors, or service providers, they should introduce you. “This is the HVAC company I use, here’s the contact, they’re reliable and give us good pricing.” That continuity is valuable.
Completion of projects. If there are ongoing projects or tasks, decide together what gets finished and what gets handed off. Don’t expect them to complete everything if it’s not realistic in the remaining time.
Training of replacement. If you’ve hired someone new and there’s overlap, the departing person should train them. Even a few days of overlap can make a huge difference.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we provide families with a transition checklist when staff give notice. What documentation to request, what knowledge needs transferring, what introductions to make. Families who use the checklist have much smoother transitions.
A house manager in Seattle’s Capitol Hill gave three weeks notice. She spent week one documenting every system and vendor relationship. Week two training her replacement (the family hired quickly). Week three making sure her replacement was comfortable and handling any questions. The family barely felt the transition because she was so thorough.
Getting a Complete Brain Dump and Documentation
The most valuable thing the departing staff member can give you is documentation.
For a house manager or estate manager: Vendor contacts and contracts. Service schedules (landscaping, pool service, pest control, etc.). Property systems and how they work. Maintenance history. Passwords and access codes. Household budget tracking. Upcoming projects or issues. How they organize and prioritize.
For a private chef: Preferred grocery stores and vendors. Family food preferences and restrictions. Meal rotation ideas. Kitchen equipment quirks. Pantry organization system. Meal prep schedule and timeline.
For a housekeeper: Cleaning schedule and routines. Product preferences. Laundry protocols. Organizational systems. Special care items. Where supplies are kept.
For a personal assistant: Calendar and scheduling systems. How family members prefer to communicate. Travel preferences and frequent destinations. Gift-giving protocols and recipients. Errand routines. Personal contacts.
All of this should be written down. Not just explained verbally. Written documentation that you can refer to later.
Some departing staff will do this proactively. Others need to be asked. Don’t be shy about requesting it. This is professional and expected.
We worked with a family in Bellevue whose estate manager left after eight years. She created a 30-page transition document covering everything from how to reset the gate code to which contractor to call for which issue to the family’s preferred travel arrangements. That document was worth gold. The family used it for years.
The Knowledge Transfer Process for Complex Roles
For senior positions like estate managers, house managers, or chiefs of staff, knowledge transfer is more than just documentation. It’s training.
If possible, have overlap between the departing person and their replacement. Even three or four days makes a difference. They can walk the property together, meet vendors together, discuss systems and procedures.
If overlap isn’t possible, maximize the documentation and plan for a longer learning curve with the new person.
For roles like private chefs or housekeepers, the learning curve is usually shorter. But there’s still value in having the departing person show the new person around, explain systems, share insights about family preferences.
A family in Seattle hired a new house manager while their current one was still working out her notice. They structured it so the two house managers overlapped for one full week. The outgoing house manager literally shadowed the incoming one for a week, explaining everything, introducing her to everyone, answering questions. The new house manager still had a learning curve, but it was so much gentler because of that overlap week.
Creating Systems Documentation Before They Leave
If your departing household staff member has been with you for years and nothing is documented, the notice period is the time to fix that.
Sit down with them and go through everything. What do they do? How do they do it? What do you need to know?
Create a household operations manual if you don’t have one. It doesn’t need to be fancy. A Google Doc or Word file works fine. But capture the information while you still have the person who knows it.
This benefits you even beyond the immediate transition. When you hire the replacement, you’ll have documentation to share with them. When something breaks or needs attention in six months, you’ll have notes on how it was handled before.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we encourage all families to maintain household operations documentation regardless of staff turnover. But if you don’t have it, a departing staff member’s notice period is your last chance to create it with their help.
Introducing You to Vendor Contacts and Relationships
One of the most valuable things household staff provide is vendor relationships.
Your house manager has relationships with contractors, service providers, repair companies. She knows who’s reliable, who gives you good pricing, who shows up on time. Those relationships have value.
When she leaves, get those contacts. Ask for introductions if possible. “Can you email Joe at the HVAC company and let him know I’ll be the contact going forward?”
Some vendors will seamlessly transition to working with you or the new house manager. Others might need that introduction from the person they’ve been working with.
For senior staff who manage complex vendor relationships, this is especially important. An estate manager in Seattle had developed relationships with a dozen contractors over five years. When she left, she personally called or emailed each one, introduced the family and the incoming estate manager, and vouched for both. It made the transition so much smoother than if the family had just started cold-calling people.
Temporary Coverage While You Search
Unless you have a replacement ready to start immediately, you’ll have a gap. Plan for it.
Can you cover temporarily yourself? For some roles, yes. You can grocery shop and do basic errands. You can’t do specialized chef work or manage complex property operations.
Can another household staff member cover partially? If you have multiple staff, can someone expand their responsibilities temporarily? Pay them extra for the additional work.
Can you hire temporary help? Some agencies provide interim staff. For housekeepers, you can use a cleaning service temporarily. For chefs, you can use meal delivery or hire a part-time chef for a few weeks.
Can you bring the departing person back part-time? If they’re leaving on good terms, some people are willing to consult a few hours a week for the first month or two while you get the new person up to speed. Pay them well for this.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we sometimes provide interim placement coverage while families search for permanent replacements. It’s not ideal, but it keeps operations running.
A family in Seattle had their house manager leave with two weeks notice. We placed an interim house manager for six weeks while they interviewed and hired permanent replacement. The interim person wasn’t perfect (they were learning the household), but she kept things functional while the family found the right long-term fit.
Whether to Do an Exit Interview
Exit interviews can be valuable if the departing staff member is willing to be honest.
Ask why they’re really leaving. Ask what could have been better about the job. Ask what they wish you’d known or done differently. Ask for candid feedback.
Some people will be diplomatic and won’t tell you much. Others will give you genuinely useful insights that help you with the next hire.
Exit interviews are especially valuable if you’ve had turnover in the same role multiple times. If three housekeepers have left in two years, there’s probably a pattern. The exit interviews might reveal it.
But don’t use exit interviews to argue or convince them to stay (unless you’re genuinely prepared to make significant changes). If they’ve given notice, respect that decision. Use the conversation for learning, not persuading.
We conducted an exit interview for a family in Bellevue whose estate manager was leaving after two years. The estate manager said the workload was truly unmanageable, there was never enough time to do everything expected, and she felt constantly behind. The family had no idea. They thought they were being reasonable. The feedback helped them restructure the role and hire an additional part-time person. The next estate manager stayed four years.
When Departures Are Messy vs. Amicable
Most household staff departures are professional and amicable. But not all.
Sometimes people quit abruptly because the situation has become untenable. Sometimes there’s conflict or bad feelings. Sometimes someone gets terminated rather than resigning voluntarily.
When departures are messy, the transition is harder. People aren’t motivated to help. Documentation might not happen. Knowledge transfer gets minimal.
Do what you can to keep things professional even if feelings are hurt. Pay them through their notice period or pay in lieu of notice if you’d rather they leave immediately. Don’t badmouth them. Get whatever documentation and information you can.
But also protect yourself. If someone’s leaving on truly bad terms, change passwords and access codes after they’re gone. Do a thorough inventory if there’s any concern about property. Check that vendor accounts are still in order.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we’ve seen a few departures turn ugly. Usually it’s when the working relationship had deteriorated over time and the departure was the final blow-up. The best you can do in those situations is end things cleanly, learn from it, and move forward.
How to Tell Other Household Staff Someone Is Leaving
If you have multiple household staff members, tell them about the departure directly. Don’t let them find out through rumor or by the person just not showing up.
Be straightforward. “Sarah has given notice and her last day will be March 15. We’re working on hiring her replacement and will keep you updated.”
If the departure affects their work (like a house manager leaving who was coordinating everyone), address that. “We know Sarah handled a lot of the coordination between everyone. For now, please communicate directly with us about scheduling and priorities. When we hire her replacement, we’ll introduce everyone.”
Give other staff a chance to say goodbye to the departing person if they’ve worked together long enough to build a relationship.
A family in Seattle had three staff members. When their estate manager gave notice, they told the house manager and housekeeper immediately. They organized a little goodbye lunch on the estate manager’s last day. It was a nice way to acknowledge her years of service and let everyone say goodbye. The remaining staff appreciated being included rather than just showing up one day to find her gone.
Managing Family Stress During the Transition
Losing household staff you rely on is genuinely stressful. Things are going to be harder for a while. Acknowledge that.
If your house manager ran everything and now you’re covering temporarily, you’re going to be overwhelmed. That’s normal. Be patient with yourself and your family.
If your private chef handled all meals and now you’re figuring out dinner every night, you’re going to be tired. That’s expected. Lower your standards temporarily. It’s fine.
If your nanny provided childcare and now you’re scrambling for coverage, you’re going to be stressed. That’s real. Ask for help from your partner, family, friends.
The transition period is hard. It will get better once you hire a replacement and they get up to speed. But that takes time. Be realistic about what you can handle in the interim.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we remind families that transitions are temporary. Yes, it’s hard right now. But in three months when the new person is trained and settled, you’ll be back to normal. Just get through the transition period.
The Realistic Timeline for Finding a Replacement
How long does it take to replace household staff? Longer than you think.
For straightforward roles like housekeepers, you might find someone in two to four weeks if you’re working with an agency or have a strong candidate pool.
For specialized roles like private chefs or experienced house managers, it might take four to eight weeks.
For senior roles like estate managers or chiefs of staff, it could take eight to twelve weeks.
Add time for the new person to give notice at their current job. Most professional candidates need two weeks. Some need more.
So realistically, from the day your house manager gives notice to the day her replacement starts might be six to ten weeks. Then add another month or two for the new person to get fully up to speed.
That’s a long time. Plan accordingly. Don’t expect to snap your fingers and have a perfect replacement ready to go.
We placed a replacement estate manager for a family in Seattle three months after their previous manager gave notice. The family was frustrated it took so long. But finding the right person, checking references thoroughly, having the candidate give notice, and planning a start date all takes time. Rushing leads to bad hires.
Whether to Rush the Hire or Take Your Time
When household staff leave, families panic and want to hire immediately. Resist that urge.
A bad hire is worse than a temporary coverage gap. If you rush and hire someone who isn’t right, you’ll be going through this process again in six months. That’s worse than struggling for a couple months while you find the right person.
Take the time to find someone good. Use an agency like Seaside Staffing Company that vets candidates thoroughly. Check references carefully. Make sure the fit is right.
It’s okay to struggle temporarily. It’s not okay to hire poorly just to fill the gap quickly.
A family in Seattle lost their house manager and felt desperate. They hired the first candidate who seemed decent without checking references thoroughly. She lasted two months before it became clear she wasn’t qualified. They had to start the search over, losing another two months and a lot of money. If they’d taken the time to hire right the first time, they would have been better off.
What to Do on Their Last Day
The departing staff member’s last day should be handled with professionalism and appreciation.
Thank them for their service, especially if they’ve been with you for years. Give them a goodbye card or small gift if appropriate. Write them a recommendation letter if they’ve asked for one.
Make sure they’ve returned any keys, access cards, or property. Change codes and passwords after they leave.
Do a final walkthrough to make sure nothing’s been left undone or uncommunicated.
Pay them fully for all time worked including any unused PTO if that’s your policy.
End on a positive note if possible. You never know when paths might cross again.
A family in Seattle had an estate manager for seven years who left to start her own consulting business. On her last day, they gave her a generous bonus, a beautiful recommendation letter, and a heartfelt thank-you card signed by the whole family. Two years later when they needed temporary help while their new estate manager was on maternity leave, guess who they called? The former estate manager was happy to help for a few weeks because she’d left on such good terms.
Staying in Touch With Good Former Employees
If household staff leave on good terms, stay in touch. Not aggressively, just friendly.
Send a holiday card. Check in occasionally. Congratulate them if they share good news on social media. Write recommendations if they ask.
You might need them again someday for temporary help, advice, or referrals. Or they might refer other excellent candidates to you. Former employees who left happy are valuable connections.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we see families who maintain friendly relationships with former staff. It’s good for everyone. The staff members feel valued beyond just being employees. The families have a network of people who know their household and might be resources down the road.
What Departures Teach You
Every time household staff leave, there’s something to learn.
If someone leaves for a better opportunity, ask yourself if you’re paying market rates and providing competitive benefits. If multiple people have left for more money, that’s data.
If someone leaves because they burned out, ask yourself if the workload is realistic. If you keep losing people to burnout, the role needs restructuring.
If someone leaves because of boundary issues or family dynamics, ask yourself what needs to change. If multiple people have left citing the same issues, you’re the common factor.
Not every departure is about you, but patterns are. Pay attention to patterns.
A family in Seattle went through four house managers in five years. That’s a lot. Finally they talked to Seaside Staffing Company honestly about the pattern. Turns out the workload they expected was really a job and a half. They were trying to hire one person to do the work of 1.5 people. We helped them restructure into a full-time house manager plus part-time administrative support. The next house manager stayed four years.
When your household staff quits, it’s stressful. But it doesn’t have to be a disaster. Handle the transition professionally, get documentation and knowledge transfer, plan for temporary coverage, and take the time to hire right the next time.
Staff transitions are part of household employment. People move, their lives change, better opportunities come along. The families who handle it well are the ones who respond with grace, manage the transition actively, and learn from the experience.
