You hired your house manager six months ago at a salary you both agreed was fair market rate for Miami. The trial period went well, the first few months have been solid, and you’re generally happy with their work. Then they ask for a meeting and tell you they’d like to discuss compensation. They think they’ve proven their value and they want a raise now rather than waiting for their one-year anniversary. You’re caught off guard because this wasn’t part of the plan, and you’re not sure if this is reasonable or a red flag.
Early raise requests happen more often than families expect, especially in competitive markets where household staff know they have options. At Seaside Staffing Company, we help families navigate these conversations regularly, and the key is understanding what’s actually driving the request and whether the timing and justification make sense given the circumstances.
Start by listening to their reasoning without immediately saying yes or no. Why are they asking for more money now? There are legitimate reasons and less legitimate reasons, and you need to understand which one you’re dealing with. Legitimate reasons include significant expansion of responsibilities beyond the original job description, discovery that they’re being paid substantially below market rate for their actual role, or exceptional performance that’s added measurable value beyond what was expected. Less legitimate reasons include financial pressure from their personal life, finding out what someone else’s staff member makes, or just testing to see if you’ll say yes.
Ask them to walk you through specifically what’s changed since you agreed on their starting salary. “Help me understand what’s different now than when we set your compensation six months ago. What additional responsibilities have you taken on, or what have you accomplished that you think warrants a salary increase at this point?” Make them articulate the case rather than just accepting the request at face value.
Evaluate whether they’re right. Have they actually taken on significantly more responsibility? When you hired them, maybe you said the role would include basic household management, and now they’re also coordinating all your travel, managing a staff of three other people, and overseeing a major renovation. That’s scope creep, and it’s fair for them to ask for compensation that reflects the actual job they’re doing rather than the job you originally described.
Look at whether their performance actually justifies early consideration. Are they exceptional at what they do, or are they just competent? Exceptional means they’ve solved problems you didn’t even know you had, they’ve saved you significant money through smart vendor management, they’ve transformed how your household operates, or they’ve handled crisis situations with impressive skill. Competent means they’re doing the job well and meeting expectations. Competent is good, but it’s not necessarily raise-worthy before the standard review period.
Consider whether you actually hired them at fair market rate initially. Sometimes families try to save money by offering below-market compensation, hoping someone will accept and then prove themselves before getting to market rate. If that’s what you did, and your house manager has proven themselves, this is your chickens coming home to roost. You gambled that you could get top talent at below-market pay, and now that they’ve shown you they’re worth more, they’re asking for it.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we generally recommend families start people at true market rate for their experience and responsibilities. This avoids early raise requests because people aren’t starting from a position of being underpaid. If you’re trying to save money on household staff, do it by hiring someone less experienced or by reducing scope of the role, not by lowballing someone on salary and hoping they won’t notice.
Think about what saying yes would mean for your household budget and for precedent. If you give them a raise after six months, are you going to give them another one at their one-year anniversary? Are you creating an expectation that raises are available any time they ask rather than on a regular schedule? How does this affect other staff you employ – will they also start asking for raises before their review periods?
Consider market conditions and competition for talent. If you’re in a market where excellent household staff are in high demand, and you know your house manager could easily find another position, that’s different than if they’d have a hard time finding comparable work. You don’t want to be held hostage by staff who threaten to leave unless you pay more, but you also don’t want to lose great people because you’re too rigid about compensation.
If you think the request is justified, you don’t have to give them everything they’re asking for. You can meet them partway. “I agree that your responsibilities have expanded beyond what we originally discussed, and I want to make sure your compensation reflects that. I’m not going to give you the full increase you requested right now, but I’m willing to adjust your salary by X percent immediately and we’ll revisit this at your one-year review based on performance.”
If you don’t think it’s justified, be direct about why. “I appreciate you raising this, and I want you to know that I value your work. But six months in, you’re still doing the job we agreed on at the salary we agreed on. I’m happy to have a compensation discussion at your one-year anniversary based on your performance, but I don’t think an early increase makes sense at this point.” Don’t apologize or be defensive about it. You had an agreement, and there’s no reason to change it unless circumstances have genuinely changed.
Pay attention to how they respond. If they accept your reasoning and continue performing well, that’s fine. If they get resentful and their work quality drops, or if they start job hunting, that tells you they’re more focused on compensation than on the work itself. If they threaten to leave unless you give them more money, you’ve got a different kind of problem – someone who’s willing to use leverage and threats to get what they want. That’s not someone you want managing your household long-term.
Ask yourself whether you actually want to keep this person long-term. If they’re truly exceptional and you’d be devastated to lose them, you might want to be more flexible about compensation even if the timing feels premature. If they’re good but replaceable, stick to your original plan and don’t let them pressure you into early raises.
Some families create clear compensation plans when they hire someone to avoid this situation. “Your starting salary is X, and we do performance reviews annually in the month you were hired. Raises are based on performance and are typically in the range of Y to Z percent for strong performance. If your responsibilities change significantly, we can discuss compensation adjustments outside the normal review cycle, but otherwise you can expect us to address compensation once a year.” This sets expectations clearly and gives people a framework for understanding when compensation discussions are appropriate.
If you do adjust their compensation early, document what you discussed and what changed. “We’re increasing your salary from X to Y effective immediately based on the expansion of your responsibilities to include Z. We’ll still conduct your annual review on schedule and any future compensation adjustments will be discussed at that time.” This creates clarity and prevents them from expecting another raise in six months because you set a precedent of flexibility.
Think about whether there are non-compensation ways to address what might be driving the request. If they’re feeling undervalued, sometimes recognition and appreciation matter as much as money. If they’re frustrated about something else in the job, addressing that might resolve the compensation request. Sometimes what sounds like “I want more money” is actually “I feel like my contributions aren’t being recognized” and those are different problems with different solutions.
The worst thing you can do is avoid the conversation or get angry that they asked. Compensation discussions are normal in professional relationships. Your house manager isn’t being ungrateful or entitled by asking – they’re advocating for themselves, which is actually a good quality in household staff. You want people who are comfortable having professional conversations with you, not people who silently resent their compensation while saying nothing.
Handle it like the professional business discussion it is. Listen, evaluate, make a decision based on facts and fairness, communicate clearly, and move forward. If they’re justified in asking and you can afford it, adjust their compensation. If they’re not justified or the timing doesn’t work for your household budget, explain your reasoning and stick to your planned review schedule. Either way, treat them with respect and expect the same in return.
