Your friend sends you a screenshot. It’s your nanny’s Instagram story. There’s your three-year-old daughter, face clearly visible, at the park you can identify by landmarks in the background. Caption says something cute about “my kiddos” and “best job ever.” Twelve hundred followers can see it. You didn’t know your nanny was posting photos of your child online. You definitely didn’t give permission. Now you’re discovering there are months of posts featuring your kids on her social media. Your children’s faces, your identifiable locations, details about your family’s routines and activities, all publicly visible to strangers.
This happens constantly and most families don’t find out until someone else tells them or until they happen to see their kids online somewhere they didn’t expect. By then there might be hundreds of posts featuring their children without their knowledge or consent. Let me be direct: If your nanny is posting identifiable photos or information about your children online without your explicit permission, that’s a serious boundary violation that needs immediate addressing. Even if she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Even if she has “good intentions” and just wants to share her work life. Even if other nannies do it too. Here’s what Seattle families need to know about household staff and social media, how to address it when it’s already happening, and how to prevent it with future staff.
Why nannies post
Before we talk about why it’s problematic, understand why nannies do this. It’s usually not malicious – they’re not trying to violate your privacy or endanger your children. They’re operating from their own social media norms without thinking through implications. Many nannies, especially younger ones who grew up with social media, consider it completely normal to share their daily lives online. Their work is a significant part of their lives, so naturally they post about it. They post about everything else – why wouldn’t they post about the kids they care for?
Some nannies are proud of their work and want to share it. They think cute photos of kids they care for demonstrate they’re good at their jobs. It’s similar to teachers posting classroom photos or camp counselors sharing activity pictures. Some nannies have social media presences focused on childcare content – sharing activities they do, developmental milestones, parenting tips. Posting about the kids they care for is part of building that content presence. Some nannies just aren’t thinking about privacy or consent at all. They see kids they spend time with, they think a moment is cute or memorable, they post it. No deeper thought process than that. None of these motivations make posting okay, but understanding why it happens helps address it more effectively than just being angry about boundary violations.
The privacy violations
When your nanny posts identifiable photos or information about your children online, here’s what’s being shared without your consent: Your children’s faces and physical appearance. Strangers can see what your kids look like, recognize them in public, develop familiarity that feels creepy. Your family’s locations. Background details in photos identify parks you visit, neighborhoods you live in, places you frequent regularly. That’s location information you wouldn’t choose to share publicly. Your family’s routines and schedules. Regular posts create patterns showing when your nanny takes kids to specific places, what your typical schedule looks like, when you’re likely not home.
Details about your children’s lives. Their names, ages, interests, schools, activities – information you control sharing carefully gets broadcast to your nanny’s entire social media network. Your family’s affluence and lifestyle. Visible details about your home, neighborhood, activities, possessions give strangers information about your financial situation. All of this compounds into a privacy violation that affects your whole family’s security and your children’s digital footprint before they’re old enough to consent to having online presence.
The safety concerns
Beyond privacy violations, there are legitimate safety concerns with children’s images and information being posted publicly. Child safety advocates consistently warn against sharing identifiable information about children online. You don’t know who’s seeing those photos, saving them, or what they might do with that information. Predatory individuals actively look for children’s photos online. Innocent images can be misused in ways that are genuinely disturbing. Even if your nanny’s account seems private or limited to friends, images shared online can be screenshotted, reposted, and spread beyond intended audiences.
Identifiable location information combined with routine schedule information creates real security vulnerabilities. If someone knows what your kids look like, where they go regularly, and when they’re there predictably, that’s concerning. Some families have heightened security concerns – maybe you’re high-profile, maybe you’ve dealt with stalking situations, maybe you have safety concerns related to custody issues or family conflicts. For those families, having their children posted publicly online is genuinely dangerous, not just uncomfortable. Even for families without specific security concerns, the principle matters. Your children’s online presence should be under your control, not determined by employees who post without permission.
The digital footprint issue
Everything posted online becomes part of your children’s permanent digital footprint. Photos posted when they’re toddlers can resurface when they’re teenagers or adults. Your children might not want their childhood documented publicly by someone other than family. They deserve agency over their own online presence as they mature, but your nanny posting now removes that choice. Future employers, college admissions people, romantic partners, anyone might someday Google your kids’ names and find images their nanny posted years ago. You’re creating digital history for your children without their consent because your nanny wanted social media content.
Most parents carefully control what they post about their own children online. Having household staff undermine those careful boundaries by posting without permission creates digital presence you didn’t choose.
When you discover it’s happening
If you just discovered your nanny has been posting your children online without permission, address it immediately and directly. Have a private conversation: “I saw your Instagram includes photos of our children. We didn’t give permission for that and we need you to stop posting immediately and remove existing posts.” Be clear this is non-negotiable: “This is a serious boundary violation. Our children’s privacy and safety matter enormously. No photos or identifying information about our family should be posted anywhere online.”
Require removal of existing content: “I need you to delete all posts featuring our children, our home, or identifiable information about our family. I’d like that done within 24 hours and I’d like you to show me when it’s complete.” Document the conversation: Follow up in writing confirming what was discussed and agreed to. Check if content was removed: Verify that posts are actually deleted, not just hidden or archived. Checking from another account helps confirm public visibility is actually gone. Seattle families sometimes discover posts across multiple platforms – Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, personal blogs. Make sure you’re clear that the boundary applies to all platforms and all formats of content sharing.
The nanny’s response matters
How your nanny responds when you address social media posting tells you a lot about whether this placement will work long-term. If she immediately apologizes, recognizes why it’s problematic, removes content without arguing, and commits to not posting again, that’s someone who respects boundaries even when she didn’t initially understand them. That can be worked through. If she gets defensive, minimizes your concerns, argues that it’s normal or harmless, or is reluctant to remove content, that’s someone who doesn’t respect your family’s boundaries and priorities. That’s a bigger problem than just the social media issue.
If she removes content grudgingly but you sense ongoing resentment or you don’t trust she won’t start posting again when she thinks you’re not paying attention, that’s a trust problem that might not be fixable. The best outcome is a nanny who genuinely didn’t understand the issues, immediately grasps why you’re concerned once you explain, and respects your boundaries completely going forward. That happens sometimes and those placements can continue successfully.
Setting clear expectations
For current staff or when hiring new nannies, be explicitly clear about social media boundaries from the beginning. Don’t assume staff understand these boundaries without direct communication. Include in employment agreements: “No photos, videos, or identifying information about children or family should be posted on any social media platform or shared online in any format without explicit written permission from parents.” Discuss verbally during hiring: “We take our children’s privacy seriously. That means no posting photos or information about them online under any circumstances. Is that clear and are you comfortable with that boundary?”
Reiterate periodically: “Just as a reminder, please don’t post anything about our family or children on social media. That boundary remains important to us.” Some families go further and include language about not discussing their family online at all, even without photos – no venting about work, no identifying details about family circumstances, complete discretion about employment. Be as specific and clear as you need to be for your own comfort level. Better to over-communicate expectations than assume nannies understand boundaries you haven’t actually articulated.
The “but my account is private” argument
Some nannies argue that posting is fine because their accounts are private or they only share with friends and family. That’s not actually private. “Private” Instagram accounts are still visible to all approved followers. If your nanny has 800 followers including people she barely knows, that’s not private in any meaningful sense. Content shared even on truly private accounts can be screenshotted and shared. Once something is posted online, you’ve lost control over where it goes.
Social media platforms change privacy settings regularly. What’s private today might become public tomorrow due to platform updates or account settings changing. The fundamental issue isn’t whether content is technically public or private. It’s about consent. Your children’s images shouldn’t be online at all without your permission, regardless of privacy settings.
When nannies resist
Some nannies genuinely struggle with social media boundaries because it conflicts with how they normally use social media or how they see other childcare providers operating online. They might point out that teachers and day care centers post photos. True, but those situations typically involve permission forms and parents who’ve explicitly consented. Your nanny doesn’t have that blanket permission just because she works with children. They might say all their nanny friends post and it’s normal in childcare. That might be true, but it’s still not okay without your consent. Lots of people doing something inappropriate doesn’t make it appropriate.
They might feel like you’re asking them to hide or not acknowledge an important part of their life. That’s worth compassionate discussion, but it doesn’t override your children’s right to privacy and your right to control their online presence. Ultimately if a nanny truly can’t or won’t respect social media boundaries after clear communication, that’s a placement that probably won’t work. You need household staff who respect your family’s priorities even when they personally disagree.
Creating positive alternatives
Some families handle this by creating allowed ways for nannies to share their work without violating children’s privacy. Photos taken from angles that don’t show faces. Activity photos focused on crafts or projects without identifiable children. General shares about childcare work that don’t include specific identifying details. Some families allow nannies to share photos with them for family use but make clear those same photos shouldn’t go on nanny’s personal social media. Some families are fine with nannies posting photos if parents pre-approve each specific image. That gives nannies some ability to share work while maintaining parental control.
Figure out what you’re actually comfortable with rather than just saying no to everything without offering alternatives. Some middle ground often exists that respects privacy while acknowledging nannies’ desire to share their work lives.
The prevention approach
The best approach is preventing this issue by addressing it clearly from the beginning rather than discovering violations after they’ve already happened. Include explicit social media policies in employment agreements that new nannies sign before starting work. Discuss privacy expectations thoroughly during interviews so candidates understand these boundaries before accepting positions. Check candidates’ existing social media during hiring process. If their accounts currently feature children from previous positions without obvious permission indicators, that’s a red flag about their understanding of appropriate boundaries.
Bring it up during onboarding when you’re covering other household policies and expectations. Make it clear this matters to your family. Then trust but verify occasionally. Periodically check that your nanny’s social media doesn’t include your children. Don’t obsess or spy constantly, but reasonable monitoring protects your children.
Your rights as parents
You have absolute right to control whether your children are posted online and under what circumstances. You don’t need to justify or defend that preference. It’s your choice as parents. Your nanny doesn’t have rights to post your children just because she spends time with them. Employment doesn’t grant permission to create online content featuring employers’ children. Even if you personally post your kids online, you still get to decide your nanny can’t. Your own posting choices don’t obligate you to let others post. Different people in different roles have different rights regarding your children’s images.
Be confident asserting these boundaries. They’re reasonable, they’re important, and they’re within your rights as parents regardless of how common social media posting about children has become in society generally. Seattle families navigating household employment should feel empowered to set clear social media policies and to enforce them seriously when violated. Your children’s privacy and safety justify strong boundaries around this issue.
